Monthly Archives: January 2013

SKULL21

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IRON MONKEY, Ruined By Idiots: Live and Unleashed (2002, Maniac Beast)

The skull:
A closeup of a skull in a light box. As cheap and bland as possible. Maximum stupidity from a band that specialized in the same.

The music:
By the time Iron Monkey’s debut was released on Earache, it was clear that the label was ruined forever. Sure, in the early days there were Sore Throat and Fudge Tunnel albums to contend with, but at least there were Bolt Throwers, Carcasses, Nocturni, and so on to keep the average high. When Iron Monkey dropped, they shared roster space with Ultraviolence, Dub War, and Pulkas. Truly a dark time. At least Iron Monkey were undeniably a metal band, even if they were just a shitty British take on Helmet and Clutch. Ruined By Idiots collects all the live and radio sessions (plus a few studio cuts) that you labored so diligently to avoid in the first place.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL20

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DORSAL ATLANTICA, Antes Do Fim (1986, Lunário Perpétuo)

The skull:
The skull is hammered full of nails and staples, but it’s the eyes that draw you in! The eyes say it all, or at least all that needs to be said: “This is the worst.”

The music:
Typical, if not prototypical, of early Brazilian thrash, Antes do Fim serves up a sloppy mix of Slayer and the German three. Unpleasant production and incredibly boring drumming dominate. While this Friar can certainly appreciate the historical significance of Dorsal Atlantica (and has always loved their name), he cannot admit to actually liking them. The band reconvened in the mid aughts to re-record this album, and that version is certainly a more enjoyable listening experience, but even so, it’s hard to call this an essential album in any form.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL19

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THE MANDRAKE, The Burning Horizon at the End of Dawn (2004, Crash)

The skull:
The skull looks down in an apparently forlorn gaze, contemplating the blood-red ocean to his left and the holocaust skies on the horizon. Faintly we see a poorly Photoshopped mushroom cloud woven into the sky, and you don’t have to use much imagination to envision a skull face in that fiery cloud. Or maybe it’s a head of cauliflower.

The music:
The Mandrake are one of few bands I’ve heard from the Crash stable that are actually competent. (One of the worst labels ever, for a few different reasons.) The Colorado natives play melodic death metal before it lost the “death” and amped up the “melodic.” Think The Everdawn and Gates of Ishtar. Good. Now throw capable but generic low death metal vocals on top. It’s another of hundreds of examples of capable, even talented U.S. bands looking overseas for inspiration and coming back home with nothing but a postcard of the real scenery. Later material traded some of their semi-esoteric riffs for a bunch of chunka-chunka ones. Active since 2001, The Mandrake should be finding their own artistic voice any decade now.
— Friar Wagner

 

SKULL18

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CRADLE TO GRAVE, CTG (2004, Year of the Sun)

The skull:
Fire and ice, baby! Fire and ice! The purity of vision here is to be commended: black background, skull, illegible logo on forehead, nothing else. The flames look they were created by following the instructions in the first link returned by Googling, “photoshop fire”, but otherwise, this is a finely crafted BDS.

The music:
Filed under “groove metal” in Metal Archives, this is one of those bands who sound immediately familiar, yet it’s impossible to say who they sound like. I think this is because people of taste generally don’t listen to any bands like this on purpose, and yet we encounter them all the time, as the first opening band of a six band touring package, or drifting out of Hot Topic as we walk past on our way to the food court while Christmas shopping. Terrible tough-guy vocals distract from some occasionally decent riffing, but the grey, midpaced monotony of the songwriting makes it rather hard to sit through more than a track or two before the mind starts to wander. I am not inspired to pursue their discography any further, and if they produce another big dumb skull as choice as CTG‘s, I’ll give Friar Wagner a chance to cut his teeth on Cradle to Grave.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL17

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MOONSPELL, The Antidote (2003, Century Media)

The skull:
While we prefer our skulls front and center, this skull art is dull enough to warrant inclusion. There’s not a whole lot to look at: a photograph of a skull, half hidden and crammed into the left side of the frame, with some gray fog or smoke in the background. And, although it’s hard to see, there seems to be something resembling thick rope to the left of the skull’s jaw. Perhaps this is the rope that the hangman makes his noose with?

The music:
Never got much into Moonspell, but they’re good at what they do (epic gothic/doom metal?) and their longevity has to be respected. The vocalist sounds uncannily close to what a mixture of clean Mikael Akerfeldt and David Sylvian would sound like. Good use of space in the title track, a world-building, atmosphere-generating sort of song. The first half of “Lunar Still” is a chilling, minimal soundscape, and then pounding doom crashes the gate. The sorta hilariously titled “As We Eternally Sleep on It” (sleep on what?) closes the album in epic style, although by the end Fernando Ribeiro’s vocals feel like a put-on (and his accent, which you can’t fault him for, gets annoying). Still, The Antidote gave this Friar an appreciation for Moonspell that wasn’t there before. Well done mood metal, although the album cover “concept” is hardly representative of the ornate, exotic music inside.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL16

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BLACK ANVIL, Time Insults the Mind (2008, Relapse)

The skull:
Rendered simply in the style of a woodcutting, the skull is properly front-and-center, huge, and stupid (although perhaps not literally: this extra-fat skull must have housed an extra-large brain.) Bonus points for the hourglass (a side obsession of both Friars) on its pate. Additional credit must be given for allowing the skull to cover the logo in places. Black Anvil are clearly a band who take their skulls very seriously.

The music:
Formed by a trio of hardcore veterans from NYC, Black Anvil offer a crusty, blackened update on Venom. As might be expected, they fail somewhat in capturing the absolutely punishing attack of their live performances on disc, but this EP is still a solid and enjoyable listen, and a good warmup to their even better full length debut.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL15

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MEGADETH, Killing Is My Business… And Business Is Good! (1985, Combat)

The skull:
Among the first of the big dumb skulls, and certainly one of the greatest. The solid steel visor riveted across his eyes and the iron staples closing his jaws perhaps mitigate somewhat the dumbness, but it cannot be argued that this is BDSery in it’s purest form: a massive, real skull commanding the majority of the cover’s real estate, just daring you to fuck with it and knowing that you will not!

The music:
A thrash metal classic for the ages! While it doesn’t reach the heights of the band’s sophomore album, which in this Friar’s opinion is the single greatest metal album ever made, Killing Is My Business… is every bit the caustic revenge art its mastermind intended it to be. Mustaine’s riffs on the first two albums are utterly inscrutable; just try to imagine any other band coming up to the main riff in the title track. Or that awesome bass solo in “The Skull Beneath the Skin”. Reissued indifferently, then remixed indiscriminately, the original pressing is the canonincal one. If the copy you own doesn’t have this cover, and if it is lacking an unredacted recording of “These Boots,” then you don’t really own the album and should be ashamed.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL14

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DEVASTATION, Idolatry (1991, Combat)

The skull:
This band are committed not only to skull covers, but they have a particular fascination with blindfolded skulls. Their first album, 1987’s Violent Termination, featured multiple skulls, which got them kicked out of the Skullection, but the prominent skull was blindfolded. This motif repeats here, on the original cover art for their their third album, but this time it’s a drawn cover (the first album was a photograph). The cover art resembles Pushead’s style, although it’s not him. It’s a legitimately great cover, but between cannibalizing their own ideas (blindfolded skulls), using artwork that looks like a Pushead rip-off, and never having found their own musical voice, Devastation are the epitome of unoriginality.

The music:
This Texas band’s first album was shabby death/thrash with terrible vocals; their second album was a Dark Angel ripoff; Idolatry, their third, is probably their best, but it too finds the band looking for some kind of unique identity. It sounds like Possessed in the Eyes of Horror era, only not as good. Vocalist Rodney Dunsmore sounds especially like Jeff Beccera (here’s where I say again: “only not as good”). Cool production, quality drum and guitar sounds. One can spot sonic references to Massacre’s From Beyond, just in a more thrash-oriented framework. But it all falls flat when the songs aren’t that good and the riffs are dull.
— Friar Wagner

 

SKULL13

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SKULL, Beer, Metal, Spikes (2005, Utterly Somber Creations)

The skull:
One could assume these Colombians were presaging a Big Dumb Skull website one day, naming themselves accordingly and slapping an utterly somber skullirific skull on their tape cover, just for us! And for the bonus glory! How kind. 1000% 10-out-of-10 A++ awesomeness here, from the band name to the plain ol’ big dumb skull on the cover. ‘Nuff said!

The music:
Spinal Tap attempting to play Venom covers? Man, this is rough, but if you like early Vulcano and early Sodom, you might get something out of this primitiveness. The questionable English skills add an element of unintentional comedy: “Demential Force,” “Thrasher (or What?).” (It’s way better than my Spanish, I’ll admit.) Harmless and kind of enjoyable, but ultimately more fun to look at than listen to.

SKULL12

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DEAD & BLOATED, You Don’t (1992, Colossal)

The skull:
Xs in the eyes are a visual trope of longstanding precedence to indicate deadness, but affixing them to a skull seems a rather redundant indulgence. The tentacles sprouting from the dome remind me of those ridiculous hats that Xtreme teenage snowboarders (and the guitarist from Panzerballett) are sometimes known to wear, and the entire design looks like it was crafted with an eye toward the band having to silkscreen it themselves. A rather slovenly cover overall, with a skull lacking in bigness but compensating with extra dumbness.

The music:
Quirky (at least aspirationally) crossover thrash recorded at least a couple years after that was even a marginally good idea. The bass plays an enjoyably prominent role in the mix, but the vocals are a terrible Mille-esque caterwaul, and the thin grooves and clunky riffs situate Dead & Bloated in the fourth-tier musical company of Ironchrist and Doomwatch.
– Friar Johnsen