SKULL475

MORDAX, Violence Fraud Treachery  (2012, Ultimhate)

The skull:
Psyched that an hourglass is served up with our skull here, as that enduring album cover motif is another favorite of both Friars. This still life shows three items sitting politely on a limestone slab, minding their own business. Which one represents violence? Which one fraud? Which one treachery? There seems to be no connection whatsoever between album title and cover art. But then Time Death Flower Pen doesn’t sound very bad-ass.

The music:
One of the most useless metal subgenres is a very specific one: Danish death/thrash. Most of these bands sound like Carnal Forge, who are themselves a few tiers down from the Haunted, who are themselves rather overrated. The Danish death/thrash scene is littered with bands that are copies of copies of copies… image and impact fade further with each generation removed from the root. And while Mordax are from Denmark, and certainly merge death and thrash, theirs is a slightly more interesting approach to the style. Of note is the abundance of slower tempos, edging toward doom but really having more of a Coroner thing happening, many of these riffs sounding like they could have been on some lost album between Mental Vortex and Grin. And the vocalist isn’t your typical barker, having a kind of strained, seething Ihsahn-esque edge to his gruff snarl. “Monarch of All” starts out in this mid- to slow-tempo mold, and it sounds promising at first but never goes anywhere. The tightness of “Trademark Strangulation” is on the Coroner level too, although it clangs and bands itself into redundancy too quickly; it suffers from veering into the usual boring Danish death/thrash mold. Something like “Acts of Aggression” edges toward Meshuggah territory, and quasi-progressive instrumental “Contrapasso,” the longest song on the album, shows there’s more to Mordax than your typical band of this ilk. Unfortunately there are too many moments where this band toes the line of your average death/thrash ho-hum hoedown. You can sorta see why Dan Swano mixed and endorsed this band, because there’s serious potential for growth here — the musicianship is excellent, and there are some fairly good ideas throughout — but in a time when most young bands play it totally safe and fail to evolve in any significant way, my hopes aren’t very high.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL474

CTATYC, Я в покое, пока я мёртв (2006, demo)

The skull:
Sometimes a skull cover is so killer that reaching for any kind or smarmy, smart-ass commentary would be totally insincere, so I’m not even gonna try. This is a fine piece of art. Too bad about the extra pentagram in the upper right corner, which is redundant in light of the bright one marking the skull’s forehead. Otherwise: this is terrific. The skull’s features are made much more interesting by the candles:  the skull looks like it’s starting to drip, as molten wax, and at the same time it looks like an illusion or hallucination originating from the smoke and light of the flickering flames. Ponder a bit and you’ll see it. I’m going to assume this is some early 20th or late 19th century piece of artwork, and if so, good on them for finding it. If it’s something made exclusively for this ridiculously obscure demo, even better.

The music:
I couldn’t locate this exact demo, but from the other material I was able to find it was easy to surmise that this Russian band’s mid-paced thrash/black/death metal doesn’t measure up to the coolness of their album cover. Dull stuff that reminds of Non Serviam era Rotting Christ if it was played by 13-year-olds all wearing Amon Amarth shirts. The vibe is there, and they’re tight, but you don’t need it.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL473

RYCHUS SYN, The Rebirth (2008, Photon)

The skull:
This bit of stonework depicts a frightening vampire skull in the middle of a salad binge. He’s totally going to town on those baby bok choy, and there’s a mound of spinach under his chin that he’s about to devour. This guy is so consumed with veglust that leafy greens appear (demonically) to be sprouting from his face. It makes sense, really: a diet so heavy in blood (particularly that of your average American, thick as it is with cholesterol and saturated fats) would probably condemn you to an eternity on the toilet if you didn’t supplement your sanguinary intake with an extraordinary amount of roughage. You never hear about this side of vampires, but this is exactly why I never go to night-time farmers markets. You’re just asking for it at those. If you have to go, stick close to that bearded guy with the table full of organic heirloom garlic.

The music:
Rychus Syn were one of hundreds of small time bands who pressed an EP on wax in the 80s only to vanish immediately, and as was often the case, that EP was released on Azra Records, who were pretty much a clearing house for bands about to die. Now, it could hardly be said that the world was clamoring for a Rychus Syn reunion, but I guess some of the guys kept in touch and nearly 20 years after the release of their debut EP, they reconvened to record this comeback disc. Honestly, it’s not terrible, but it’s not exactly essential. I’m reminded of a lot of 4th tier melodic metal bands from the 80s, but to give you a sense of scale, here are some similar bands who were quite a bit better than Rychus Syn: Steel Assassin, Gargoyle, Saint, Tyrant, etc. You get the point. I can’t be certain (because I don’t have the lyrics and I can’t be bothered to figure them out), but this definitely has the feel of Christian metal, and the name (which I assume is meant to be pronounced like “Righteous Sin”) suggests the same, and I can easily imagine this coming out in 1993 on Rex. But, this is well played and well sung, and while the songs tends to inhabit a pretty narrow range of tempos (which consigns them to a certain saminess), if you’re a serious lover of American power metal, then this might be of minor interest to you. I certainly have lesser crap in my collection.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL472

MALFEITOR, To Hell, Farewell (2011, Till You Fukkin Bleed)

The skull:
This guy barely qualifies for inclusion into the Skullection, as he’s not quite transformed from flesh to bone, but we’re giving him a pass. He’s clearly going through something pretty uncomfortable and his plight deserves recognition. We empathize with the fact that he’s dying from an overdose of moldy Ramen, which surge from his eye sockets and mouth. Probably a college kid whose wild night went a little too wild. He stumbled back to his dorm, warmed up the hot pot, and that’s when all hell broke loose. (The impaling stake probably hurts a little bit too.) Those circling vultures can’t wait to get a piece of this delicacy.

The music:
Consisting of members of Blood Mortized, Godhate and Excruciate, one can expect exactly what such a pedrigree portends: adequate but hardly innovative Swedish death metal. It is, in fact, too many generations removed from the original root to be all that impressive. Each of the demo’s six songs serve up typical Swedish brutality, complete with super-fat guitar tone, forbidding vocal bellows and a variety of tempo shifts. The solo/musical section before the last verse/chorus of “Beyond the Horrorizon” is seriously impressive, but other than that it’s pretty much par for the course. And, despite the obvious talents of each member, “adequate” or “par for the course” won’t be good enough to leap over the very high bar death metal’s best have set for the genre. Maybe a Tribulation or Morbus Chron-esque evolution is in their future, but I doubt it.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL471

MUSTASCH, Sounds Like Hell, Looks Like Heaven (2012, Gain Music Entertainment)

The skull:
This guy is a lot closer to a Victoria’s Secret angel than to Charlie, the uber winged skull (übergeflügeltotenkopf?) of heavy metal. It would have helped if the minimum-wage Photoshopist had made an effort to align the wings and skull in something resembling a plane; as it is it looks like one wing sprouts from behind the skull’s left “ear” and the other tangentially from the back of his head. Makes no sense. Plus, everyone knows that if you’re gonna outfit a skull with wings, they had best be bat wings, or failing that, at least something that looks eagle-like. These recall the poofy appendages of a cockatiel. Unacceptable!

The music:
I first became aware of Mustasch when they were subbed in for Volbeat at a festival, and I have to admit, the swap was apt. Both bands traffic in self-conscious “rock,” the kind that must announce at all times and in the most ironic tones just how hard it indeed “rocks.” Mustasch don’t do the Elvis/Danzig worship thing that more or less defines Volbeat’s gimmick, instead sounding like a cross between Monster Magnet and mid 90s Swedish death rock, enhanced with up to 8% by weight of a solution of The Cult, played with the impeccable polish and sheen you’d expect from Swedes who aren’t going out of their way to sound unpolished. It’s even catchy in places. It’s also infuriatingly needy, the work of a band trying very hard to sound like real ass-kickers, so oh please won’t you consent to an ass-kicking please? Lord knows, I don’t require danger in my heavy metal (I love Arwen, after all), but I do thoroughly detest artfully-composed faux danger, and that’s all you’ll get from Mustasch, cowbells and all. Sounds like posers, looks like hipsters.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL470

EMPERADOR, Gloria en la Oscuridad  (2011, Unblack Metal Scene)

The skull:
This is a first: a skull split vertically down the middle. What manner of implement could cleave a skull in such a manner? Only a Ferm 800w Table Saw with Mitre Function 240V, and doncha know, the Ferm 800w Table Saw with Mitre Function 240V is the official circular table saw of Big Dumb Skulls. As Seen on TV: “When You’ve Got to Cleave a Skull and You’ve Gotta Do it Now, Make a Ferm Decision.”

The music:
Is there really a record label called Unblack Metal Scene Records? There is. And you can pretty much assume most if not all the bands on the roster are shit. If Swine Suicide and Willow Mount number among your favorite artists, then you either have terribly oppressive Christian parents who don’t care if the black metal you listen to sucks, or you simply have crappy taste in black metal — probably both. Emperador are not the worst offenders playing this sort of thing, but they’re a mess and they’re incredibly derivative of the Norwegian and Swedish black metal bands of the early ’90s. Except they love God, Christ and the Mother Mary. Great, huh? Not really. That everything was apparently recorded on a boom box in the basement doesn’t help their cause. There’s a fine line between sounding necro and sounding crappy. Guess which side of the line Emperador falls on? Nice try, and again, I’ve heard much worse, but this is pointless on a number of levels.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL469

PICTURE, Eternal Dark  (1983, Backdoor)

The skull:
This guy. This poor, naive guy. He primped and preened till his hair was just right; with help from his sister, it’s a shaggy mane all the Joe Elliott-lovin’ girls are gonna fall over themselves to stroke just once. One lucky lady just might get more than a chance to get her sexy bejeweled fingers all over this macho mane, and maybe other hairy parts too, know what I mean? And that silver-studded black choker, oh yeah, gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight at the Picture show. He’s so happy about all of this, you just hate to spoil it and remind him he’s missing an eyeball and has no skin anymore. He’s turning the color of moldy cheese too. Chicks don’t dig that. Girls gonna keep a wide berth tonight.

The music:
I’m not the biggest fan of Picture’s albums prior to this, or even after this, but Eternal Dark is one all fans of ’80s Euro metal should be familiar with. Along with tighter playing and better songwriting from the instrument-wielders, this album bettered Picture’s prior work by featuring new vocalist Pete Lovell. Lovell has a smooth midrange that finds all the right notes, and while something like “Make You Burn” is sub-NWOBHM that serves no good purpose and cannot be saved by the vocalist’s charms, other tunes like the title track, “Flying in Time” and “Into the Underworld” are colorful, infectious Euro metal burners. More than once I’m reminded of Washington state’s Fifth Angel — you can imagine those dudes worshipping Eternal Dark while they were putting their own band together and writing the songs that ended up on their great 1986 debut. Picture sounded like a clunky also-ran before and even after this album, but somehow everything lined up nicely in 1983, finding them with an album that could have at least shot them to the status of Krokus or Saxon. That didn’t happen, as we all know, but it should have. Although maybe there were one too many filler tunes or dorky lyrics or even an ineffectual label keeping them from grabbing the brass ring. Oh well — they’re apparently back together on the nostalgia circuit for those who still care.

— Friar Wagner

SKULL468

VENEMOUS CONCEPT, Retroactive Abortion (2004, Ipecac)

The skull:
“Hey dudes, check out my awesome collage art. I made it from a bunch of 60s Life magazines I found at my grandma’s house, and I think it really makes a statement about war and shit. Yeah, that old bitch is just some cog in the Republican, mainstream meachine, so I didn’t feel bad stealing her old shit, or also this bottle of creme de menthe, so let’s get fucking wasted and listen to Poison Idea!”

The music:
Venemous Concept are a grindcore project from Kevin Sharp, Shane Embury, Danny Herrara, and Buzz Osbourne, and they sound 100% exactly like you’d imagine they’d sound. Actually, they sound 100% exactly like you’d imagine they’d sound just from looking at the cover art. Grindcore is nothing if not predictable. Also, Dan Lilker joined after this album. Like I said: predictable.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL467

RUNNING WILD, First Years of Piracy (1991, Noise)

The skull:
At first I thought, “Oh, come on. By the time the scalp and hair rotted away, that bandana would be MUCH looser around the skull’s dome…” before I started to wonder if maybe this guy wasn’t in fact killed by an overtight bandana. Think about it, you’re on the open seas, the wind in your face, and your stupid mandatory headgear is constantly blowing off. So, you tie it on really fucking tight, so tight that not even gale force winds could knock it off, and the next thing you know, you’re dying of gangrene because you cut off the circulation to the top of your noggin. Sounds pretty fucking stupid, until you hear that this guy lost an eye trying to balance a rapier on his nose. Kids: don’t make bets when you’re getting double rum rations.

The music:
Generally speaking, it never pays to re-record old songs. For one, there’s always a certain spark that’s lost with the benefit of hindsight, an ineffable youthful energy that’s nearly impossible to summon at will years later. But more than that, by the time an band has accumulated sufficient fans and marketplace goodwill to get away with a release like this, the band is usually well past its prime. But Running Wild were near the top of their game in 1991 when they decided to revive these tunes from their first three albums. Rolf and company released one of their best original albums in the same year, Blazon Stone and were only a couple years from the creative peak of Death or Glory. So, it can’t be said that the band were on the wrong side of the curve when they undertook this project. But then, it can’t really be said that those first three albums were really so raw and underproduced that they needed to be revisited this way. I just recently listened to Gates of Purgatory and was impressed anew at just how tight the band was. Sure, Rolf’s voice hadn’t quite hit its stride, but the playing and production were otherwise just fine. The most shocking thing about that very first Running Wild album is how thrashy it sounds in retrospect; it has a lot more in common with Bathory than probably most people would think. Then again, Rolf’s did improve immensely in those seven crucial years, so for sure he sounds better on “Prisoner of Our Time” and “Soldiers in Hell”. There’s less of an improvement, though, for the tunes from Under Jolly Roger, which was actually only four years old at that point. That fact alone reminds me of how fast-paced the early metal scene was. Nowadays, a band re-recording a four year old song might be doing it on the very next album from the original! But, I digress. First Years of Piracy is inessential, but it’s also quite good and serves as an excellent best-of from the early days of the band, and probably served the intended function of defining the canonical early tunes that one could expect at a Running Wild show in the early 90s, but owning this will only make you want the original albums the more, and if you have them already, are you really going to spend much time with the rerecorded versions? Unless you derive some perverse titilation in the disgusting triggered snare sound that was the Running Wild calling card in 1991, then probably not.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL466

POWERGOD, Evilution Part I  (1999, Massacre)

The skull:
A custom-assembled fruit-and-nuts basket to the first Big Dumb Skulls reader who can identify what’s supposed to be happening here. I cannot decipher the meaning. All I see is a floating skull whose dome is so round that it looks more like a skull-shaped baseball than a baseball-shaped skull. This curious skull hovers in a sea of blue sky, surrounded by angels who could be emissaries of evil or good — they’re too small to really say for sure. I’ll go with evil. And the sword, well, its hilt in the foreground seems positioned to place some kind of importance on it, yet I cannot for the life of me figure out its purpose. The skull can’t possibly wield it (no arms or hands!), and the angels seem more concerned with the skull, flying about him like moths around a light bulb. The sword just sits there lonesome: “Hey, look at me! Somebody wield me! Anybody? Anybody up for some sword-wieldin’?” No takers. Very sad.

The music:
Powergod released five albums in a semi-confusing set of two series’: Three installments of this Evilution thing and two in the awkwardly-titled That’s Metal Lesson series. The latter are covers albums. This is the first installment of Evilution. What Powergod serves up is tough-as-nails heavy metal you’d expect from a German band in the late ’90s: equal parts Dio, Judas Priest, Helloween, Megadeth and Accept, modernized by relentless double bass and crystal-clear production. The vocalist is annoyingly whiny, the drum sound so “perfect” that its cold and brittle, and the aesthetic is too dumbed-down. What’s more, Powergod gets stuck between speedy power metal glory and knuckleheaded trad-metal way too often. In fact, dullard cock-rock anthem “No Brain No Pain” is truly, well, brainless. If you’re still buying new Hammerfall albums, you desperately miss Metalium and your favorite label is Pure Steel, then you need this in your collection. You probably already have it in your collection. All others: bust out those Lost Horizon albums again and forget about Powerglob.
— Friar Wagner