Author Archives: Friar Wagner

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DIMMU BORGIR, Gateways  (2010, Nuclear Blast)

The skull:
One thing’s for sure: this skull cover matches the music inside…highly-adorned and faked-up with lots of technology. This skull has a couple extra sets of eye sockets above its main ones, and although a lone skull is completely useless as a warrior, it is nonetheless dressed for war here. With a horny (hehe) headpiece, little shield-like things hanging around, and various weird shit scattered around it, it’s probably more ornamental than something actually utile.

The music:
The only Dimmu Borgir song I ever liked was 1997’s “Mourning Palace,” and even that song’s effect wore off after about 5 or 6 listens. Fast forward to 2010 and Dimmu Borgir sounds really, really unappealing. This single, “Gateways,” is more Rammstein than Norwegian black metal in its cold militaristic cadence, and the plastic-y production is terrible:  feather-light guitar sound, repetitive triggered double bass, sampled choir vocals, cheesy synth sounds that are WAY too high in the mix. If Leaves’ Eyes covered newer Immortal songs and Abbath sang guest vocals, it might sound like this, but really, “Gateways” is even worse than that description sounds. I’m not, however, gonna be a retard and say “Dimmu Borgir have lost it!”…because they never had it.
— Friar Wagner

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TAAKE, Nekro  (2007, Dark Essence)

The skull:
Stark and haunting, skully and spooky, moonlit and creepy, this is a very effective skull cover which would have been PERFECT without that stupid “True Norwegian Blah Blah” banner in the bottom right corner.

The music:
There might not be a more prototypical Norwegian black metal band than Taake. They’ve been doing it since 1995 and continue to this day, no major changes and no turning away from what they originally set out to do. This EP came out in 2007, and its main song, the 11+ minutes of “Hennes Kalde Skamlepper,” is as good an example of Taake’s sound as any. Cold, buzzy, reverb-drenched riffs, fast-and-faster rhythms, and your usual Quorthon-derived vocals on top (ie. the guy sounds like Nocturno Culto in Darkthrone’s early/mid ’90s era, but sharper and even more scathing). There’s a bit of ambient guitar landscaping in the middle of this lengthy song, and after it kicks in again there are some odd Skoll-like bass lines happening (think Ved Buens Ende). Shorter track “Voldtekt” opens up the EP; it’s a frosty, blazing sort of thing, akin to something off Darkthrone’s similarly single-minded Transilvanian Hunger. Taake also covers Von’s “Lamb” here, and it works well enough to draw the line of influence from Von’s primitive weirdness to the basics of “True Norwegian Black Metal.” Which, by the way, Taake boasts about playing on the cover of Nekro, in case there was any question about it. This little banner also adds “Piss Off & Fuck Off,” which I will do right now. It’s cool that they don’t ask us to die after fucking off, which is usually how it goes, you know?
— Friar Wagner

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THE BATALLION, Head Up High  (2010, Dark Essence)

The skull:
The Batallion might win a few battles now and then, but they sure won’t win any spelling bees. But let’s look at that skull: it’s apparently being held up high, so we’ll take them at their word. There’s nothing very distinctive about it, except for those awesome teeth, which are bullets. “You goth fags can go fuck yourself with your prosthetic fangs,” says this skull, “’cause my dentist does BULLETS!”

The music:
The most notable thing about The Batallion is that their bassist played on the second and third Borknagar albums, albums which this Friar holds in high regard. Other members have played in Taake and Old Funeral, so you wonder why they’re devolving so significantly with this band? Head Up High might be professionally executed, and it doesn’t exactly fit into the ballcap-and-white-high-tops retrothrash scene, but it’s basically fourth generation thrash that you’ve heard a million times before. It’s like their favorite Sodom era is the punkier one (Masquerade in Blood, Get What You Deserve) and like they think thrash ‘n’ roll is something to exalt. Ah shit, they’re probably just out for a good time and looking for an excuse to get drunk. Go for it guys. (Speaking of “guys,” their first album is notable for having some interesting homoerotic references: it’s called Stronghold of Men and contains songs such as “The Spirit of Masculinity” and “Man to Man.” Hey, to each his own.)
— Friar Wagner

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VEX, Thanatopsis (2010, Horror Pain Gore Death Productions)

The skull:
A cute little guy here with humongous eye sockets. Toothless, the skull has a look of surprise or desperation, or possibly both. Looks sort of like a child’s skull. Whatever the age, somebody forgot to bury the body properly. I’m assuming the tombstone-like stone behind it marks a gravesite, and the field it’s in hasn’t been mowed in quite some time. If I was hiking in this field I wouldn’t be able to resist picking up this skull and putting it into my backpack. After flicking the maggots off. Cool cover, one that looks like it could either be a mildly manipulated photograph or a really good bit of painted realism.

The music:
Considering the label this is on, I didn’t expect the music to be of such a refined, majestic sort. It’s from Texas but sounds like early/mid ’90s Swedish melodic death metal. I imagine they’re disciples of Eucharist and early Tiamat. Their guitars weave melodic themes and riffs that recall Dissection, Unanimated, Sacramentum, early Dark Tranquillity and early At the Gates, with vocals in a similar vein (seething, near-black metal rasps). They keep things raw on the production side, guitars are thin and hypnotic sounding, and the song arrangements are relatively complex, so they truly sound authentically olden — nowhere near as edgeless as most modern melodic death metal bands. Thanatopsis is very good for what Vex is trying to achieve. Some moments hint at a will for experimentation, so I’m curious to hear the follow up, Memorious. What do you know, a cool cover and some good music to go along with it!? Skulls be praised!
— Friar Wagner

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RAM, Forced Entry  (2005, Black Path Metal)

The skull:
Another band that likes the concept of fusing animal horns onto a human skull, and it’s
usually ram horns that are favored (second favorite: bison horns), so this band is well-
named. The black and red makes an effective impact, complete with glowing red lights
emanating from the eye sockets. Pretty much looks how it sounds.

The music:
Swedish vocalists usually don’t come with much of an accent, not the way Italian or Greek
vocalists do, but this guy has a strange delivery, partly due to a weird accent that twists
every word into near-nonsense. He also ocassionally sounds influenced by the mid-range tones of Agent Steel’s John Cyriis and Sanctuary-era Warrel Dane (“Machine Invaders”), so the dude is clearly on the oddball side. His voice  gives Ram a unique edge, for better or worse. The rest of Ram play pretty cool traditional metal that finely walks the line between elder worship and the hungry spontaneity only rookies possess. You get songs with multiple parts, tempos and sections, and a whole lot of energy; stuff like “Machine Invaders,” “Infuriator,” and “Venom in My Veins” captures the interest well enough. Their lead guitar work is suitably blistering, some great tones and melodic choices that help the Ram cause quite a bit. There’s no one obvious root sound that is Ram’s favorite…I hear flavors of Japanese, Danish, German, British, Italian and U.S. heavy metal here, all on the raw, dark and heavy-handed side. A few moments get stuck in a plod, like the band isn’t quite sure where to go (the title track), but for the most part it’s a fun if totally easy listen. This definitely could have been released in 1985.
— Friar Wagner

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GODS OF FIRE, Wrath of the Gods  (2004, Black Thirteen)

The skull:
Man, this one whips up one magickal psychedelic visage of a skull! Look into those eyes…weird organic matter, like black lava swirling and cooling, with what looks like elaborately sculpted smoke whirling up the sides, with teeth that are not human and some pretty good looking gums, considering the advanced state of decay this person has gone through by this point. This person with the teeth of a badger. And then, yes, lots of fire burning below, a recurring theme for many a skull album cover. The skull itself almost gets lost in all this madness.

The music:
Gods Of Fire sounds influenced by King Diamond, Sanctuary, Iron Maiden and Manowar. Unfortunately, listening to these eight songs and 53 minutes is a chore. Their hearts are in the right place, but it’s pretty low-rent stuff. Too many ham-fisted stabs at grandiosity (“Promethus Unbound”), some flat-out bad notes (the guitar themes that open “Nectar of the Gods”), and vocals that try for a wide range but are dull and powerless at every turn. Sometimes the musicianship is pretty good, despite weak spots, but there’s this overall void running throughout that makes it feel like parody. The recording is far too dry, which doesn’t help their cause. It’s frustrating to listen to a band reaching for golden heights only to come back with greasy scraps. I cheer for them with part of my heart while my entire brain says, “No…please…no.” On a fun little note, their second album is called Hanukkah Gone Metal. I am not kidding. Here’s a lyric from “No Gelt, No Glory”: “No Gelt No Glory baby / I let it ride on Gimel must walk away a winner now / No Gelt No Glory baby / If you want to play then baby gimme a ‘HEI!'” The first line goes “With the dreidel in my hand I give it a lucky whirl.” It’s sure more interesting than the stock-mythology lyrics running throughout Wrath of the Gods.
— Friar Wagner

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ELWING, War  (2005, Black Lotus)

The skull:
Assuming that this one-eyed skull is looking at a scene of war, he looks blank and unimpressed. The artwork is all scratchy and organic-ish, just some fun with Photoshop to help dress up an otherwise drab cover idea. Mission not accomplished. There are a whole subset of skull covers out there featuring one-eyed skulls, and this is one of the least remarkable. Just another band that’s got nothin’ in the way of cover ideas. (Their first album featured artwork depicting a helmeted, shielded, and sworded warrior standing atop a pile of skulls. Also none too original.)

The music:
Whole lotta gallop goin’ on, and quite a few Celtic/folk flavored rhythms and melodies. This Greek metal band worships at the altar of Blind Guardian and other such fantasy-laden, epic sorts of power metal bands. If you have any recollection at all of the Greek band Nemesis (I don’t), one of their members ended up in Elwing, and he brings their “Lost Humanity” song with him, which appears on this album. Highlight tracks? They’re all kind of similar in quality and structure. The vocals are mid-ranged and decent enough, and when he goes high he sounds strained. Or with tons of effects piled on. He’s gruff and forceful enough and has an okay range. Musically it’s solid and tight, nothing to sniff at, and the whole band perform with an earnestness that at least makes you appreciate their conviction. But Elwing isn’t offering anything that other, better bands haven’t, so there you go. Elwing gave it their best shot in the early and mid 2000s and died a pretty quick death. A casualty of the power metal war…
— Friar Wagner

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ANNIHILATOR, Double Live Annihilation  (2003, AFM)

The skull:
Animal skulls are generally frowned upon here at Big Dumb Skulls. The Council prefers that submissions depict only human or human-esque skulls. Take the horns away from this one and you’re pretty close to human, so we’ll let it slide. This bison-man skull thingy hovers above a sea (or puddle) of blood, one that is active and bubbling, indicating, mmm, maybe…Hell??? Whatever the case, wherever he hovers, he’s got “Double Live” etched into his forehead, and his eyes glow like fiery coals, presenting to you the word “Annihilation.” Skulls hover a lot, don’t they?

The music:
Isn’t it weird how “King of the Kill” could have been on those ’80s era Piledriver albums? How “Striker” is like Iron Maiden trying to play thrash (not a novel idea anymore, though), and “Murder” opens this album but is still as stinky as that whole Remains disaster? You get it all here, Annihilator fans. It was difficult for me to care about Annihilator past album #2, but if you’re a devotee, Double Live Annihilation will please, especially the career-spanning song selection, which is so career-spanning it hardly has any room for much from their first and best album. The sound is very good, the performances all totally pro. Vocalist Joe Comeau has a weird history: singer in Liege Lord, then became a guitarist in Overkill, formed Ramrod, then sang in Tad Morose for about three seconds, and he winds up as vocalist in Annihilator. (Although with the frequency of lineup changes in Annihilator, we’re all bound to be in Annihilator eventually.) Comeau has a  flavorless delivery, but it’s less annoying than Randy Rampage, so hearing a song like “Alice in Hell” without Rampage is a pleasure, as it’s one of Jeff Waters’ best compositions. The rest is what Annihilator specializes in: lots of great riffs, very few great songs.
— Friar Wagner

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EXILED, Exiled  (2002, Hellion)

The skull:
The fact that this is Exiled’s first-ever release — no demo, no EP, and on a fairly well-known label — and it looks like THIS tells you that almost no thought whatsoever went into the artwork. They’re like a baby fresh out of the womb that’s expected to get dressed in its finest and make an immediate public appearance. No wonder Exiled just went “uh…skull, that’s it!” Grab any skull you can find on your favorite clip-art page, make it glow and stamp a barcode on its forehead…voila! There you have your first album cover. Brilliant.

The music:
Well-crafted, highly energetic, aggressive power metal with plenty of speed but also enough timing shifts to keep you on your toes. The vocalist hovers in a mid-range, but dips low sometimes and every now and then well move to higher ground — he’s pretty good, although lacks something truly identifiable. The capability of each musician is fairly high too, and the songwriting is solid, if nothing groundbreaking. Exiled do what they do pretty well, delivering passion, darkness, melancholy and spirit in equal measure, played with remarkable ability, and you can’t help but like it at least a little bit. I wouldn’t return unless they really started finding their own unique muse, but it was good for one-time listen.
— Friar Wagner

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RELLIK, Killer  (2001, Doomed Planet)

The skull:
This skull looks so desperate for a bite, he’ll chomp down on any damn thing. A logo made of stone, a rat, a mushroom cloud…whatever’s in the vicinity, he’s gotta eat it. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, Rellik is Killer backwards. But the skull don’t care. He just wants to keep eating whatever you throw his way. Killer cover!

The music:
I remember reading about this California band in Metal Rendezvous ‘zine back in the day. They sounded interesting, but their 1986 EP was pretty much impossible to find, so I’ve never actually heard them until now. Rellik inhabits that special little space occupied by bands such as Serpent’s Knight, Slauter Xstroyes, and S.A. Slayer. The vocals are especially in line with any of those bands (squeaky, high and weird), the music a bit more straightfoward than S.A. Slayer or Slauter Xstroyes, but you get the idea. Basically Snakepit-metal, if that makes any sense to you. Which can sometimes be a totally great thing, but sometimes it’s just another forgotten old band who deserved obscurity because they just weren’t that good. While Rellik’s music is pretty okay in spots (the solo section of “Street Sinner”), there’s nothing here that requires immediate investigation. This compilation combined the only recordings they made, from 1986 and 1990, with three other tracks that never saw the light of day. If you’ve lived without them this long, you can keep living a Rellik-less life.
— Friar Wagner