SPIDER KICKERS, Recognize the Corpse (2001, self-released)
Now how are we supposed to recognize the corpse when there’s nothing but a partial skull and petrified French fries strewn about? That’s nothing to go on — everybody eats French fries! It doesn’t help that this is viewed through some kind of infra-red lens or something. Nope, not gonna be any corpse-recognizing happening here today. Whaddya think we are, CSI or some shit?
What an incredibly stupid band name. Taken literally, these guys must be jerks if they go around kicking spiders. I’d like to see them kick something a bit less defenseless and puny, like a scorpion, or a badger. They’re from Greece, so maybe something’s getting lost in translation here. These guys wallowed in demo/self-release purgatory until the Sleaszy Rider label came calling in 2007, although even that doesn’t seem to have raised their profile much. It’s probably because their music skirts that crowded line where hundreds of others sit, thrashing away furiously, shouting about alcohol, sodomy and death. Speaking of death, the Kickers play thrash metal that sits on the death metal side, comprising a true death/thrash synthesis, for whatever that’s worth to you. Now and again a sneaky, snaky, cool thematic lead line will emerge out of these songs, and I like the conviction with which the vocals are spit out, and they’re pretty tight and ferocious…but in the final analysis, it’s competent yet nothing-special sort of stuff. Investigate further only if you must…you gullible metalhead, you. — Friar Wagner