GODZILLA, II (1990, Metal Enterprises)
Simple, effective, and totally misleading in that you believe you’re in for a rollicking bout of epic metal action. The skull is hungry for battle and has got the sweet helmet to prove it. “Give me war!” he cries. You’re thinking “Manilla Road…Brocas Helm…Ostrogoth…Omen” just about now right?
Holy mother of god, this is horrendous. Utterly fascinating, but horrendous. So what do we have here? There’s opener “Ingoz,” a bit of raw sludge that acts as a thematic intro to a way-too-long, unintentionally-dissonant, super-retarded cover of “Helter Skelter.” “Ass of the Prophet” is as thick and ugly as ashtray molasses, and it incorporates harmonica to add insult to injury. It also features some completely clueless vocals. A slow blues, basically. Are you braindead yet? Then there’s the utterly horrifying reggae/’80s pop car-wreck of “I Followed the Zombie,” rendering the label name “Metal Enterprises” an egregious case of false advertising. There’s more…so much more…and no real reason to report any further on it, although I did my best to endure this album a couple times in one sitting. I’ve heard a lot of shitty albums, and this one is at the top of that list (most Metal Enterprises albums are fighting for space on that Top 10, and winning. Like Killer Fox). I can’t think of a more directionless, pointless, inept and incompetent album. I doubt if even the most fanatical collector of traditional heavy metal obscurities would find this an acceptable addition to their collection. This really is more for enthusiasts of remarkably bad music, who will enjoy throwing away 45 minutes of their life with this circle of crud. This almost makes me wish I was listening to yet another skull-friendly Pantera clone. Godzilla’s II is one of those records that has a far more interesting and entertaining history behind it than what the actual music offers. (Can you imagine what Godzilla I is like?) For a highly informative view into this label and their dubious releases, I recommend you go here.
— Friar Wagner