SKULL545

Posted on June 29, 2014 by Friar Wagner

SKINNER, The Enemy Within (2012, self-released)

The skull:
Is this skull the skinner or the skinnee? If skinner, it’s likely a revenge thing, doing to others what was done to him. If the skinnee, then it must have been difficult for the skinner to work around what look like fancy deer horns growing out of the sides of his head. His turquoiseness, well, that’s just silly. And do I have to point out what a lame, overused title The Enemy Within is? Perhaps they chose that over Nowhere to Run or something even more cliche…

The music:
This is metal that brings in a variety of genres and melds them fairly seamlessly. It’s performed with finesse and delivered with a conviction that you have to respect. You’ll hear shades of Nevermore’s high-octane modern power metal here, elements of Pantera groove, that nebulous but awesome not-quite-thrash area inhabited by bands like Powermad and Metal Church, and references to various Annihilator eras. So, very capable stuff, with a vocalist that recalls the gruff melodicism of Pharaoh’s Tim Aymar. They’ve got it together on this EP, and even though I wasn’t left wanting to check it out again after my two initial listens, whenever the name Skinner comes up I’ll give them some respect, at the very least. Anyone who considers the whole Prog/Power thing (style and festival) their musical bread and butter, you need this. Skinner released a full-length album two months ago called Sleepwalkers, and I haven’t heard it, but it boasts a pretty terrible album cover. They’re following in the footsteps of Metal Church as far as that goes.

SKULL544

Posted on June 28, 2014 by Friar Wagner

SATAN’S SATYRS, Die Screaming (2014, Bad Omen)

The skull:
Here we see something not meant for the public’s eyes. Lacking anything but a bony head to work with, a skull needs to get his sexual kicks in ways we fleshy folk might find bizarre. A skull positions himself under any kind of signage dripping blood (you know the signage), causing an agonizing sort of orgasm, all that hot blood splashing onto his face and into his mouth. Hot hot hot! Now, look away. You have seen too much already.

The music:
Duty and obsession lead me immediately to song number 5, “Show Me Your Skull,” and what it offers is kind of interesting. I’m highly suspicious of most of these retro-rock/retro-heavy metal bands, who offer absolutely nothing new and usually can’t write songs that measure up with the old masters (Witchcraft being a major exception). But Satan’s Satyrs are interesting. Their guitar tone is jangly and clean, reminding a bit of old ’70s band Dust. The energy is equally jumpy, raucous and kinetic, and the song structures and melodies are redolent of some weird fusion of ’70s-era Pentagram, early Cirith Ungol and classic Kiss. There are whiffs of punk and surf music here too. The ghosts of MC5 and Stooges lurk not very far under the surface. Sorta like if Venom was actually a punk rock band. And that’s just “Show Me Your Skull.” And that’s just the music. The vocals are hugely appealing, partly because they sound like no one else that I can recall. Bassist Claythanas, as he’s known, delivers these tales of pulp novel satanism with a bratty, whiny, fragile, sneering delivery. While that sounds horrible on paper, it actually works to give these songs additional color and intrigue. The rest of the songs are good, with a consistency that offers no standouts but no real duds either. I can’t believe I’m enjoying this retro-steeped album, but then I like a lot of the original bands this is based on, so perhaps it was time that a totally worthwhile band like this came along. Much better than Graveyard, trust me.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL542

Posted on June 26, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DESTROYER 666, See You in Hell (2010, Invictus Productions)

The skull:
If we are indeed doomed to Hell and find ourselves in the presence of skulls barfing up wolves, I’ll take a one-way ticket as soon as one becomes available, please.

The music:
I have a very good friend who counts Destroyer 666 amongst his absolute all-time favorite metal bands. He has, time and time again, exposed me to their supposed awesomeness, and while I admit their mastery, the connection is always an arm’s length away. I just can’t fully get into the D666 thing. Despite some great riffs and obvious mastery of their chosen craft, they leave me cold. But, as said, I can respect them. This two-song 7″ features the title track, which is not a cover of the Grim Reaper title track. It is, rather, a mid-paced, martial, fairly hypnotic affair, led by militaristic snare drum, blurry layers of guitar and caustic vocals. The second side is more interesting, as “Through the Broken Pentagram” finds all kinds of wicked guitar melodies, quality riffs, propulsive drumming and heavily layered vocals woven together to create quite the malevolent 4 minutes and 42 seconds. The layering of harsh vocals atop other vocals that aren’t exactly melodic but aren’t harsh either, but rather despondently spat out, reminds of Algaion’s General Enmity album somewhat. The song cruises along in a kind of organized calamity, like the final moments of Slayer’s “Mandatory Suicide” expanded into an entire song; it captures that frightening, world-collapsing sort of vibe. “Through the Broken Pentagram” might be the most interesting song I’ve heard by these dudes yet.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL540

Posted on June 24, 2014 by Friar Wagner

HOUR OF 13, 333 (2012, Earache)

The skull:
We know…this should have been SKULL333 in the Skullection. You smart ass, lot, you. But the skulldiggers in the employ of the Council hadn’t unearthed this gem in time. Once found, the prickly hair-on-end feeling that our archaeologists usually get upon uncovering a skull was only half as creepy as usual. And the skull was missing half its teeth. And the nine-pointed star that emanated from its being was only half as evil-seeming as some 18-pointed star that our head archaeologist saw once. Still, we take all comers, as long as its a skull with lineage to heavy metal. We had to wonder if the music it represented was going to be half as good as all the best doom metal bands? Our research was only half concluded (or half begun, if you’re an optimist).

The music:
In their short career (2006-2014), North Carolina’s Hour of 13 made some pretty sizable waves in the doom metal community. And weirdly enough, I hadn’t taken the time to listen to them until duty called here at Big Dumb Skulls. Opener “Deny the Cross” is not only not an Overkill song, it’s not half-bad. The rhythms, melodies, guitar tones and vocals are all appropriately macabre-sounding, akin to the more straightforward lurch of classic Candlemass and the lightly abstract surrealism of that same band’s Dactylis Glomerata. Phil Swanson’s vocals possess the kind of character you’d hope for, neither being too overtly close in style to Ozzy Osbourne or Messiah Marcolin, or any of the other vocalists that doom copyists favor (and, every now and then, he recalls Alan Averill in Primordial’s A Journey’s End era). I know some others have charged Swanson with being too Ozzy-like, but he’s no Dan Fondelius (Count Raven) in that category, and I suspect those “critics” have very narrow reference points when it comes to doom (like, Black Sabbath, Black Sabbath and Black Sabbath. And solo Ozzy). There are even quite a few killer riffs here. Ultimately I find most newer doom bands charged with the impossible task of impressing beyond the godfathers of the genre, who laid down an nearly impossible-to-match blueprint. But Hour of 13 does a pretty damn good job of it, and the fact that they’re relatively original for a band of this style speaks volumes for their integrity. One of their main strengths is their incorporation of true/dark/traditional heavy metal elements, so that fans of Dio, Slough Feg, Manilla Road and Judas Priest could get into this. Not bad at all, and recommended to discerning doom fans who haven’t yet checked it out.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL538

Posted on June 22, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DEF CON ONE, Warface (2012, Scarlet)

The skull:
Where have we seen this before? It’s almost guaranteed just from the artwork alone that we’re in for some shitty metal. But first, the cover: gasmask and fallout symbol. What are we supposed to feel? What is this trying to say? Why did the band think this was such a stunning piece or art that they went and reproduced it almost exactly for their next album? (The imaginatively titled II.) If I didn’t know any better I’d guess this was some not-really-supergroup formed by members of Skinlab, Sacrilege B.C. and some drummer that lasted about four minutes with Laaz Rockit.

The music:
Funny, I was just thinking how I needed more cruddy modern British metal in my life and Def-Con-One delivered!!! Def Con One (stupidest name ever) are the perfect illustration of what we’re trying to figure out here at Big Dumb Skulls, whether shitty/stupid/uncreative album covers are a reflection of the music inside. Warface seems to proudly answer that question with a resounding “you betcha!” This is music that would only sound right pumping out of the shitty earbuds of power-lifting gym-rat jarheads, lots of ranting about psychos, strength, bullets, and “not listening to a single word I say.” The double bass drumming is super-solid, but recorded way too clicky. The singer is yet another dude that looks like Phil Anselmo yelping like Phil Anselmo. And the riffs sound like ones Pro-Pain threw out for not being good enough. They make reasonable attempts to inject some melody into their aggro anthems (“Hold On”, “March of the Dead”), but even these fall flat in a post-grunge kind of heap. This band features some Venom drummer named Antton, who is technically way better than Abaddon, but still, if he’s not Abaddon, and the music is this stupid, Def Con One is a limply hanging branch of the Venom family tree, at best.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL536

Posted on June 20, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DIO, The Collection (2003, Spectrum)

The skull:
It hasn’t been an easy road for Kane Roberts since Alice Cooper sent the musclebound guitarist packing. Looking to expand on his solo album work, he took on a mythological musical persona, bearing a hammer-shaped guitar and dubbing himself the God of Thunder. This project performed the kind of goofy heavy metal you’d expect. But that failed before it ever really took off when Thor (the crappy Canadian singer, not the actual god) sent him a cease and desist. He then auditioned for Manowar, and even though DeMaio was impressed with Kane’s physique, they chose a guy whose muscle was more musical than physical (the gangly Karl Logan, he of the awesome bangs). Depressed and desperate for a gig (steroids ain’t cheap), Kane was hired as a hand model. It was embarrassing work. Years flew by and he saw his metal glory days slipping into the past with each gray, desolate day. Then, in 2003, some bullshit record label called Spectrum brought in a skull for Kane to model with. Upon learning that this photo shoot was being used for a greatest hits album by Dio, the guitarist schmoozed around until he got Ronnie himself on the phone. “Hey Ronnie, I really respect your work. I’d love to play guitar with you someday. Do you currently have an opening?” Said Ronnie, “Sorry man, I just hired Craig Goldy back. I reckon he’ll be with me till the day I die.” And that is exactly what happened. Kane Roberts hand models to this day. He lives in Flint, Michigan with his wife, 17 dobermans, and an old snake inherited from Cooper. He still plays guitar, and plays it better than that Goldy twerp.

The music:
I’m not sure who buys these sorts of releases, but I never want to meet these people, whoever they are. If you’re a Dio fan — and you damn well better be — you’ll have all this stuff already. Maybe a couple of live tracks escaped you, but do you really need those that bad? There’s no use dissecting the track listing at any great length. You get all the stuff you’d expect of such a cash-grab, at least from the first three albums. It also offers the “dream duo” from Dream Evil (“Dream Evil” and “I Could Have Been a Dreamer”), and throws a bone to the underrated Lock Up the Wolves as well as Strange Highways by offering one from each. Not quite as redundant and pointless as any given collection of, say, Motorhead songs, but pretty close. (Also, what’s the deal with Sacred Heart? Not a great album.)

— Friar Wagner

SKULL534

Posted on June 18, 2014 by Friar Wagner

CRACK UP, Heads Will Roll (1998, Nuclear Blast)

The skull:
This is the first skull in the Skullection to sport “cauliflower ear,” a common affliction of wrestlers (real wrestlers, not the Hulk Hogan type entertainers). Overall, this is just the kind of imagery people who wear Affliction gear might have gotten psyched up about before Affliction came along. But wait, look closer: the skull appears to have been impaled within a tightly-clamped circular prison. He is in the process of committing arson and breaking free of his shackles. It’s becoming clear now: this imagery is Crack Up’s commentary on Karl Marx’s Communist Manifesto, their own manifesto of sorts, which also exalts the fall of the bourgeoisie, a fall which will set into motion a glorious new day for the proletariat, that they may loose their chains in revolutionary reconstitution and win back a world that is theirs to gain, the defeat of exchange value and the reclaiming of personal worth. No idea what the naked babes are doing in the background, though. Marx didn’t say anything about that.

The music:
Crack Up are one of these late ’90s German bands who began playing death metal then pretty quickly evolved into what is known by the unfortunate moniker of “death ‘n’ roll.” This is their third album, and it sounds as you’d expect: fat grooves and tones with a growler grunting along in his best Lemmy-meets-Matti Karki impersonation. It sounds like they’re covering Xysma’s entire Deluxe album without any trace of the perverse attitude and left-field panache that made Xysma so special. It’s not the worst “death ‘n’ roll” ever, and there are even a few riffs that you have to grudgingly admit you were shaking your head and tapping you foot to (“The Assassin”). There are, of course, a number of dumb-ass butt-stompin’ riffs tailor-made for low-IQ metal neanderthals. They cover tunes by Dictators and Turbonegro, too, which probably tells you all you need to know about whether you’re going to like this or not. I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess Crack Up was a pretty lame death metal band in its infancy.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL530

Posted on June 14, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DEJA VU, Decibel Disease (2008, Karthago)

The skull:
Apparently this is what happens to a skull when it’s blasted with high decibel heavy metal: it grows tentacles under its jaw, spider-like legs on its head, and some kind of crank or nutcracker on one side of the noggin. That, and the bone is overtaken by a Michael Whelan-esque series of veins and eyeballs. The red glow emanating from eye and nasal holes lets us know that the decibel disease is peaking and continuing to spread. This is not good news for the skull. Probably should have worn earplugs, dude.

The music:
Great band name, considering you’ve totally heard this before. The music of Germany’s Deja Vu can be summed up easily: Painkiller-era Judas Priest with a healthy dose of the post-Painkiller sort of thing Halford did in his solo band (Halford, not Two). This includes some pretty impressive high-pitched screeching from guitarist Werner Kerscher, who probably would have been a better choice for Priest than Ripper. Unfortunately, there’s more “Metal Meltdown”-level dumbness here than “A Touch of Evil”-esque majesty. If they found their own sound, Deja Vu might be something really special, but too many times they just rip off songs from the Priest/Halford catalog, and so many of them are almost exact analogs of the originals — “Children of the Eighties” is a lot like Halford’s “Made in Hell.” And then “Die for the Tyrant” is indeed sort of like Judas Priest’s “Tyrant,” with its unpredictable twists and regal atmosphere but shot straight into the Painkiller-era, amped up, modernized and musclebound.”You Know My Name” puts Deja Vu on the right track, a powerful slice of dynamic power metal punctuated with some exciting rhythmic accents and punches. And then we get into knuckleheaded crud like “Metalhead” once again that isn’t so much Priest as it is Helix or Jackyl. Deja Vu was going pretty strong there for a few years, releasing a debut in 2006 and this one in 2008, so it’s been awhile and I wouldn’t hold out much hope that they’ll shed their weaknesses and work on their strengths. Or maybe it’s taking them that long to improve. Or maybe they’re working on their own version of Nostradamus, a triple album called The Greek about the predictions of NFL football commentator Jimmy the Greek.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL528

Posted on June 12, 2014 by Friar Wagner

CRYONIC, Evil Mind (2007, Swedmetal)

The skull:
It’s like the dudes in Cryonic stumbled on this image after walking by Hellyeah HQ and found various discarded album cover design in the dumpster out back. One look at this ice blue bad boy and that was it: Cryonic had a mascot. Cinoyrc the Evil Mind (of Blue Flames), arise! They’re ready to take over the world now, they are.

The music:
Happy Happy Helloween all up in this joint! Germany’s speed metal masters are clearly a prime influence on this Swedish band, as are other, equally obvious bands such as Blind Guardian and Edguy. Which kinda means Cryonic sound a lot like Heavenly or Dreamland and similar other power metal bands several degrees removed from the root source. They’re fine at what they’re doing, but could probably use a more ballsy attack, since their AOR-ish elements (“Coldblood”) aren’t refined enough to carry them into that realm. But then increasing the aggression factor wouldn’t disguise the fact that this is pretty mediocre stuff. It’s not offensively mediocre, and would satisfy any not-exactly-discriminating power metal fan, but it does make you wish, for the 6000th time, that Lost Horizon could have put out at least one more album. (Fun fact: Cryonic’s vocalist goes by the handle of Bigswede.)

— Friar Wagner

SKULL526

Posted on June 10, 2014 by Friar Wagner

ZERO DEGREE, The Storm and the Silence (2007, demo)

The skull:
Lo, did the Viking explorers set out for new lands, prepared to pillage and rape wherever the skull beacon would steer them. Through storm and silence they did sail, through hurricane they did struggle and lose several good men, through calmness did they lick their wounds and carry on. But the trip ended suddenly in the dark of night when each of the longships crashed into a glacier the size of Odin’s big toe. Wood was rent asunder; provisions were pitched into icy waters; most men drowned. The trip to Newfoundland, or the Carribean, or India, or wherever the fuck they thought the skull was taking them, ended in total disaster, because the skull beacon was using a compass and didn’t
know how to read it for shit.

The music:
Here we were all strapped in and ready for some raw Viking-obsessed black metal, but no, these Germans play metal that sounds like modern-era Arch Enemy mixed with early In Flames. Given that, you can easily imagine what this is like without even hearing it. You get steady and technically good drumming that is also completely soulless; mostly mid-tempo bastardized Iron Maiden riffs, and moments of Helloweeny fun that are more than mid-tempo but not exactly laden with speed; and vocals that are interchangeable with any other modern band of this type. The bass guitar is subliminal, at best. So, as modern melodic death metal goes its neither the worst nor the best of the lot. Being that it’s modern melo-death, there’s very little it can do to match the atmosphere, energy, invention and wildness of the sub-genre’s good old days. It’s formulaic and safe. I’m not big on reunions, but it’s time for Eucharist to return and show bands like this how it’s done.
— Friar Wagner