SKULL665

Posted on October 27, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

SEVENTH ANGEL, Heed the Warning – Live (2005, Bombworks)

The skull:
What we have here is a Photoshop catastrophe that could only grace the cover of a thrown-together compilation. Although I applaud the band for selecting only flying Vs, and only Jacksons at that (even if one of them is a King V, of which I generally disapprove, and with a fixed bridge no less!), they could have found better than these bottom-of-the-barrel imports, especially as they clearly just grabbed these jpgs off the ‘net somewhere. The skull is muddled and ugly, and the background went at least four Photoshop filters too far. But to me, the most confusing aspect of the whole thing is the radiation symbol. This is a Christian band, so you’d assume that the epynomous warning has something to do with sin or Jesus or something, and not… nuclear war, which, by 2005, was already a pretty distant threat. But hey, no one ever accuses Christians of timeliness, so I guess it makes as much sense as we could expect. And half of the music on the album is from around 1990, so maybe this title is just short for Did You Heed The Warning? You Did? Great! Then I Guess Everyone Gets To Live.

The music:
Seventh Angel are a long running Christian thrash band who are not as good as the best of their kind (Believer, basically), but who can hang pretty comfortably with the likes of Tourniquet and Deliverance, which is to say they’re not that good, but they’re also not completely horrible. Seventh Angel have always hung their hook on their “doom” aspect, but I think you’d have to have lived a pretty sheltered musical life to call this doom metal. Of course, a lot of Christian thrash fans DO live pretty sheltered musical lives, so it all makes sense. Yes, there are slightly more slow parts in your typical Seventh Angel tune, but there are tons of thrash bands who slow it down just as much, and nearly as often, and no one would ever call them doom. In any case, this release is a compilation containing a four track demo from 1990 and some live tracks recorded Lord knows when. They don’t appear to be mixed at all, but as soundboard recordings go, the quality is perfectly fine, and the band is tight enough that you won’t hear many mistakes. You also won’t hear a lot of great music, because that’s not what put Seventh Angel on the map, but if you only jam for the lamb, and you like your metal a little more rugged than Sacred Warrior, then you almost certainly aren’t reading this blog, and if you were, you’d almost certainly already own this, so why go on?
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL635

Posted on September 27, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

NUCLEAR ABOMINATION, Nuclear’N’Fucking Roll (2010, demo)

The skull:
This skull is obviously related to this guy, what with the radiation symbol monocle, so maybe this is black metal? But not so fast: a black metal band would never use that kind of typewriter font for the title. That’s obviously the work of a crust or grindcore band. Except, hold on, that logo could only be for a thrash band (pentagram be damned!), and in the roshambo of logo/image/typeface, logo always wins. This is thrash. And so concludes today’s lesson in heavy metal visual taxonomy. This will be on the test.

The music:
If, looking at this cover, you suspected that Nuclear Abomination would sound like demo-era Toxic Holocaust, then I will applaud your stereotyping instincts, because that’s exactly what Nuclear Abomination sounds like. They’re maybe a little more thrash and a little less hardcore, but definitely in the same vein. Like Toxic Holocaust, Nuclear Abomination are a band with mediocre riffs, bad vocals, and a pervasive corniness, but Nuclear Abomination clearly take themselves (or himself, I should properly say) even as seriously as their (his) American counterpart(s). I mean, you wouldn’t name your demo Nuclear’N’Fucking Roll if you were serious, right? And you definitely wouldn’t name it that if you last demo was called Nuclear’N’Roll. But then again, what isn’t improved by more Fucking? Anyway, back to the Toxic Holocaust comparisons: Nuclear Abomination released this demo as a limited cassette, so it’s probably already too late for you to be a completist when it comes to this band, but then again, the hunt for all this rare crappy rethrash is definitely way more fun than actually listening to it, and if that’s the thing that really tweaks your nips, you’d better start penpalling with the most underground Frenchmen you can find, because you’re gonna have to dig deep for this one.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL538

Posted on June 22, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DEF CON ONE, Warface (2012, Scarlet)

The skull:
Where have we seen this before? It’s almost guaranteed just from the artwork alone that we’re in for some shitty metal. But first, the cover: gasmask and fallout symbol. What are we supposed to feel? What is this trying to say? Why did the band think this was such a stunning piece or art that they went and reproduced it almost exactly for their next album? (The imaginatively titled II.) If I didn’t know any better I’d guess this was some not-really-supergroup formed by members of Skinlab, Sacrilege B.C. and some drummer that lasted about four minutes with Laaz Rockit.

The music:
Funny, I was just thinking how I needed more cruddy modern British metal in my life and Def-Con-One delivered!!! Def Con One (stupidest name ever) are the perfect illustration of what we’re trying to figure out here at Big Dumb Skulls, whether shitty/stupid/uncreative album covers are a reflection of the music inside. Warface seems to proudly answer that question with a resounding “you betcha!” This is music that would only sound right pumping out of the shitty earbuds of power-lifting gym-rat jarheads, lots of ranting about psychos, strength, bullets, and “not listening to a single word I say.” The double bass drumming is super-solid, but recorded way too clicky. The singer is yet another dude that looks like Phil Anselmo yelping like Phil Anselmo. And the riffs sound like ones Pro-Pain threw out for not being good enough. They make reasonable attempts to inject some melody into their aggro anthems (“Hold On”, “March of the Dead”), but even these fall flat in a post-grunge kind of heap. This band features some Venom drummer named Antton, who is technically way better than Abaddon, but still, if he’s not Abaddon, and the music is this stupid, Def Con One is a limply hanging branch of the Venom family tree, at best.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL486

Posted on May 1, 2014 by Friar Wagner

NUCLEAR DEATH TERROR, Nuclear Death Terror (2005, demo)

The skull:
There’s very little here we haven’t seen on a hundred other releases. An ultra-literal interpretation of the band name, featuring a radiation symbol, a biohazard symbol, and a skull representing death. Yawn.

The music:
There’s very little here we haven’t heard on a hundred other demos. Ultra-strict crusty grind/punk/death that resembles a merger of Discharge and early Extreme Noise Terror. Songs about political corruption and how life is very painful. Yawn.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL360

Posted on December 26, 2013 by Friar Wagner

NYOGTHAEBLISZ, Progenitors of Mankind’s Annihilation (2003, demo)

The skull:
Bonus points for the super-great logo, which drips in complete harmony with the skull itself, which looks like it’s starting to melt. Maybe a contact lens with the radiation symbol on it wasn’t a good choice after all. Fucking jokers at Lenscrafters, the skull went in and just wanted something rebellious. Gotta watch out for those assholes. Guess it’s back to stupid clunky glasses for the Nyogthaeblisz skull. (Nickname: Spencer, in the tradition of Eddie and Vic Rattlehead and all that.)

The music:
Just when I thought I’d heard the most necrolicious black metal ever recorded comes Nyogthazeirqfkdafldblitz. While this demo has got the basement/cave quality of something like Ildjarn, in its most frenzied moments (like, most all of it) it sounds closer to a lo-fi Merzbow than a Gorgoroth or Horna or whatever. You could argue that it’s high art in its disorienting, blurry, beyond-extreme approach, but even for somebody that can take extremity at its most distant outer fringes, there’s nothing offered here that would make me return a second time. I do like how they mix deeply chaotic dark occult black metal imagery with post-nuclear imagery, lots of “bioterroristic” this and “thermonuclear” that. As this 23-minute demo reaches about the nine minute mark, I feel like I’ve heard it all, these guys making early Anaal Nathrakh and those ancient Mayhem demos sound trite and safe by comparison, but without any graspable substance. Nah, I kid, these boys are gonna take it all the way to the top! It’s something everyone can enjoy, and I see nothing but success on the horizon for these ghoulish Texas-born shock-rockers — they just need to change the name to something more chant-able at the summer festivals.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL254

Posted on September 11, 2013 by Friar Wagner

ARDKORE, Napalm Stix to Kidz!! (1989, Metalworks)

The skull:
Looking like it was ripped straight from the back cover of a fourth-grader’s notebook, this
image piles on the cliches: a skull, a fallout shelter/radiation symbol, and the anarchy “A” scratched into his forehead. The skull tries hard to look ferocious, but no dice. The band logo and especially album title font almost make it look like a Screeching Weasel album. They do have punk leanings, so there you go. What’s with the detached bottom jaw and the thin two-pronged tongue? Man…how long till we get to Skull 666?

The music:
Mindless and pointless, if perfectly competent, this band, like so many British thrashers
offered too little too late. So it is with this album, a bland pile of crossover thrash. 16 songs, 36 minutes, titles like “Kill the Lollipop Lady,” “No Fear” and “Judge of Death.” Yawwwwn. File it away with Cerebral Fix, D.A.M. and Virus and move right along. Nothing to see (or hear) here…
–Friar Wagner

SKULL195

Posted on July 14, 2013 by Friar Johnsen

FANTASMAGORIA, Inconceivable Future (1991, demo)

The skull:
Ah, the radiation symbol. Time was, you could expect at least one of these on damned near every metal release. Cold war nuclear paranoia was good for our music, to be sure! Fantasmagoria didn’t do much with it, though, and this demo cover looks like the result of a bad compromise between one guy who just wanted a skull, and another who just wanted the symbol. “How about we put them both on the cover?” the bassist suggested, playing the peacemaker as always, and while no one really liked the idea, they were at least satisfied that no one else was entirely happy, either. And really, when you put the two together, you get an entirely conceivable future. “Someday, we’re all gonna be skulls. Because of radiation.”

The music:
Surprisingly, I wasn’t able to find even a single song from this demo on the internet. Usually these old death metal curios are easy enough to come by. This band is listed by Daniel Ekeroth in his Swedish Death Metal encyclopedia, where he also notes that most of the Fantasmagoria members also played in Morgana Lefay. He says their early work (meaning, this demo) is “deadly” but goes on to say that they ended up as Pantera clones before breaking up. Sounds about right for BDS!
— Friar Johnsen