Author Archives: Friar Johnsen

SKULL16

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BLACK ANVIL, Time Insults the Mind (2008, Relapse)

The skull:
Rendered simply in the style of a woodcutting, the skull is properly front-and-center, huge, and stupid (although perhaps not literally: this extra-fat skull must have housed an extra-large brain.) Bonus points for the hourglass (a side obsession of both Friars) on its pate. Additional credit must be given for allowing the skull to cover the logo in places. Black Anvil are clearly a band who take their skulls very seriously.

The music:
Formed by a trio of hardcore veterans from NYC, Black Anvil offer a crusty, blackened update on Venom. As might be expected, they fail somewhat in capturing the absolutely punishing attack of their live performances on disc, but this EP is still a solid and enjoyable listen, and a good warmup to their even better full length debut.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL15

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MEGADETH, Killing Is My Business… And Business Is Good! (1985, Combat)

The skull:
Among the first of the big dumb skulls, and certainly one of the greatest. The solid steel visor riveted across his eyes and the iron staples closing his jaws perhaps mitigate somewhat the dumbness, but it cannot be argued that this is BDSery in it’s purest form: a massive, real skull commanding the majority of the cover’s real estate, just daring you to fuck with it and knowing that you will not!

The music:
A thrash metal classic for the ages! While it doesn’t reach the heights of the band’s sophomore album, which in this Friar’s opinion is the single greatest metal album ever made, Killing Is My Business… is every bit the caustic revenge art its mastermind intended it to be. Mustaine’s riffs on the first two albums are utterly inscrutable; just try to imagine any other band coming up to the main riff in the title track. Or that awesome bass solo in “The Skull Beneath the Skin”. Reissued indifferently, then remixed indiscriminately, the original pressing is the canonincal one. If the copy you own doesn’t have this cover, and if it is lacking an unredacted recording of “These Boots,” then you don’t really own the album and should be ashamed.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL12

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DEAD & BLOATED, You Don’t (1992, Colossal)

The skull:
Xs in the eyes are a visual trope of longstanding precedence to indicate deadness, but affixing them to a skull seems a rather redundant indulgence. The tentacles sprouting from the dome remind me of those ridiculous hats that Xtreme teenage snowboarders (and the guitarist from Panzerballett) are sometimes known to wear, and the entire design looks like it was crafted with an eye toward the band having to silkscreen it themselves. A rather slovenly cover overall, with a skull lacking in bigness but compensating with extra dumbness.

The music:
Quirky (at least aspirationally) crossover thrash recorded at least a couple years after that was even a marginally good idea. The bass plays an enjoyably prominent role in the mix, but the vocals are a terrible Mille-esque caterwaul, and the thin grooves and clunky riffs situate Dead & Bloated in the fourth-tier musical company of Ironchrist and Doomwatch.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL10

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ZNÖWHITE, Kick’Em When They’re Down (1985, Enigma)

The skull:
Incredibly big and almost impossibly dumb, this skull appears to have been hand crafted by an airbrush artisan at the boardwalk or something. It would have looked incredibly boss sprayed on the back of a denim jacket. The sinister sockets and rictus grin give the skull the air of midgrade malevolence you’d expect from a guy who’s waiting for the rank stink of his unleashed flatulence to reach you.

The music:
Pencil thin production and reedy female vocals somewhat mar this otherwise above-average thrash metal EP. The full length that follows it, Act of God, is an underrated classic though, one of the best Metallica-inspired thrash albums of the 80s, and singer Nicole Lee fully redeems herself there. Guitarist Greg Fulton (known then as Ian Tafoya) was always the star of the show, however, with one of the tightest right hands in the business, and his rhythm work on Kick’Em When They’re Down is pretty damned impressive for 1985. Znöwhite eventually morphed into Cyclone Temple, and their debut is another minor masterpiece, but after that album, Fulton lost his magic and his discs got more and more boring.
– Friar Johnsen

SKULL4

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SWORD, Sweet Dreams (1988, GWR)

The skull:
A rubber snake on a plastic skull.  Well, maybe the snake is alive, but that skull never was.  The massive logo steals some of the skull’s thunder, but certainly not much: this is as classic as it gets.  Plunk down a skull, set up some spooky green lights, take the picture.  Done.

The music:
Like the cover, this album simply gets shit done.  No frills, mid-paced heavy metal with deep songs and a killer singer.  Whenever I listen to this album (which is often), I remember the review that turned me onto it, which compared singer Rick Hughes to Dee Snider (but with a much better range) and imagined the music as what NWOBHM might have become had Metallica not intervened.  Many people prefer the band’s debut, Metalized (which also sports a skull cover, but it’s far too stylized, metaphoric even, to be considered for the skullection), and while I can definitely understand the appeal of that album’s speedier US power metal (even if the band is Canadian), there’s a depth and a maturity to Sweet Dreams that puts this album over the top for me.  Sword are even back together, but unlike most of the nostalgia acts working the oldies circuit, Sword is working with the entire original lineup, sounds amazing, and the singer still has it.
— Friar Johnsen