GRANTIG, So Muss Es SeinĀ  (2008, Drakkar Entertainment GMBH)

The skull:
We’ve seen quite a few iterations of the Human Skull + Ram Horns motif here at Big Dumb Skulls. As we near Skull #500 in the run up to 666, you can bet we’ve seen better ones than this, although this one deserves some attention thanks to its stylized take on the “concept.” I’m as tired of browns as any other metal fan long in the tooth, and this cover uses nearly every shade of it. That said, it’s a pretty okay piece of art, as these sorts of things go, but that’s a pretty low bar we’re setting. I’m sure some hanger-on Grantig fan somewhere in the depths of Bavaria has this skull tattooed on his arm, and probably carries the band’s gear into the van for them. Then they’re all like “Sorry, no room in the van, buddy, but we love your tattoo!” They speed off to a gig where three other Grantig diehards await their arrival. So it must be.

The music:
Modern metal from Germany, exactly like a synthesis of Pantera and Black Label Society but with lyrics in German. I will concede they’re no slouches at their chosen craft, even if the craft they’ve chosen (German Southern Groove Metal?) has absolutely no appeal to this friar. This is the kind of jockstrap thump-rock that impressionable under-age kids half listen to and half care about when they’re chugging ’em down at the back of the pub while the band rocks its balls off.
— Friar Wagner