SKULL525

PRIMEVAL REALM, Primordial Light (2014, Pure Steel)

The skull:
Although the ultimate example of a skull-hill has been deemed insufficiently stupid to qualify for admission to the Skullection, this new work from Pennsylvania’s Primeval Realm more than bridges the gap. Golgatha, the hill on which Jesus was supposedly crucified, was translated to mean “place of the skull,” and here we have the most literal possible interpretation of that translation, even if it seems weird to pair such obvious Christian imagery with language (Primeval, Primordial) that is clearly meant to suggest a far earlier time than a mere 2000 years ago. But, whatever! Who are we to poo-poo so fine a skull hill as this? The poor skull looks like those crosses are giving him the damndest headache, and I especially appreciate that even as a metaphor made real, this skull looks beat-up and toothless. I guess it’s tough work propping up the Calvariæ Locus.

The music:
Obsessed-style doom is for sure not a favorite of mine, but Primordial Realm unquestionably do this style absolutely as well as it could possibly be done. The songwriting is top notch, with plenty of trad-metal hooks to temper the obligatory (if leaden) Sabbath nods, and a totally crushing production. I can’t say I’m entitely sold on guitarist/mastermind Joe Potash’s vocals, which have a kind of baritone, everyman temper to them, but his melodies are good enough to make up for his lackluster tone. Brian Leahy’s thick, humming Hammond lines easily fill the space sometimes too keenly-felt in single guitar bands, though he rarely steps out front. At their best, Primeval Realm channel early 90s Trouble, minus Eric Wagner (of course) and the signature twin-axe stylings of Chicago’s finest, and even a pale imitation (which Primeval Realm are not) of that band’s finest era can yield some impressive tunes. Of course, this is still doom metal, so by the end of the album, if you’re at all like me, you’ll be ready for it to stop, but believe me, as someone who is compelled to listen to a lot of mediocre doom metal, when you’re not scrambling to hit “stop” midway through the first tune, you’re doing great.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL490

RAM, Death  (2012, Metal Blade)

The skull:
Friends of the (horned) skull, Ram, return with another album cover featuring a human skull with curly ram horns affixed to it. The look is deliberate ’80s kitsch, and it’s an ugly mess. I think they’re trying to impress us here at BDS, utilizing every single popular feature of your typical skull cover: horns, crosses, ruined city, blood, an ominous winged figure. You can imagine this as a video game. The background is static, except for the upward-moving blood streaks, which pulse with each hit of the player’s fire button. That button allows the player to shoot crosses into the eye sockets of the skull, which moves erratically, gaining speed and intensity as the player progresses to each new level. Once you shoot 1000 crosses into the skull’s eyes, you’re at the 10th level. The skull disappears as the winged figure at the back becomes animated, growing slowly in an attempt to overtake the player. The shooter needs to shoot 100 crosses each into the figures wings or lose the game in defeat. Naturally, Ram music plays in the background. It’s a whole lot better than that Journey video game, right?

The music:
How much you like this depends on how much you like Iron Maiden and don’t mind other bands sounding a lot like Iron Maiden. Since Maiden themselves hardly sound like this anymore, Ram is a sufficient analog for the galloping, energetic, double-guitar attack that the English legends patented and turned into a very profitable industry. Ram is a good band, with good riffs and an earnest approach that’s hard to dislike, but how much you like them will depend on how adventurous a listener you are. Do you go to a restaurant that offers a menu loaded with choices and order the same dish every time? Do you go to the exact same place every single year for vacation? Do you go to Baskin Robbins and order a double scoop of vanilla? Ram isn’t all Iron Maiden worship though. Sometimes you hear traces of Judas Priest.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL452

PLAGUE WARHEAD, Whores of Lucifer (2011, Godeater)

The skull:
If I’m reading into the deeply embedded subtext correctly, the upside crosses represent Lucifer and the skull is the whore. The skull’s eye holes are being penetrated by nine lascivious crosses — and a huge dagger cleaving through the skull’s head for good measure. This is perhaps the grossest violation of a skull’s orifices we have ever seen here at Big Dumb Skulls, although one wonders: why not some hot and nasty penetration of the nasal cavity? It’s a gaping hole just waiting to be sullied. Or maybe it’s just a skull with a bunch of crosses stuffed into its eyes — no pornographic overtones whatsoever. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, right? But that’s no fun…and that’s how hardened we’ve become here at BDS. Now anything less than nine crosses fucking dry eyeless sockets is going to seem pedestrian.

The music:
While they can confidently be called “death metal,” Plague Warhead’s riffing and drumming are far more thrash metal than the norm, so it is that the band are often dubbed “death/thrash.” And while calling Plague Warhead death/thrash automatically makes them seem unappealing (because of the zillions of death/thrash bands that suck), these guys are quite good at their chosen craft. It’s so 2002 up in this joint! There’s some particularly good bass playing and a few hair-raising moments of Slayer-esque dissonance in “Forces of Evil” (bet you’ve never seen a song title like that before), and again, they’re going to satisfy metal fans that want this exact sort of thing — they’re certainly better than 90% of other bands in this vein. That said, Plague Warhead delivers not a damn bit of individual personality to their music, so one listen and I’m done. Benny Larsson (Edge of Sanity, Pan-Thy-Monium) is the drummer here, and while I wouldn’t say he’s totally slumming, I’d say he’s mostly slumming. But when you’ve been in two bands that godly, where do you go from there? Plague Warhead, I guess. I’ll be waiting for them to write a song called “The Skull is the Whore,” and then — and only then — will I listen again.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL211

SATHANAS, Ripping Evil  (1988, demo)

The skull:
Yes! This is what we’re talking about! There is nothing left out here, nothing spared. Front and center is a skull whose forehead is branded with an upside down star. He looks fried and possessed by lunacy. That’s a fantastic start. He’s got horns that look like carrots. There are two cloaked figures flanking him (the Sunn dudes?), each holding a large inverted cross, the crosses chained together in satanic matrimony, crossed in an X behind the skull. They seem to be taking this job very seriously. Fire burns above the entire unholy scene. Ripping evil? Ripping evil what? Ripping evil a new asshole, I say! That makes no sense, of course, and neither does this tape cover. But it rules beyond all holy hell.

The music:
The fact that Pennsylvania’s Sathanas have been active since 1988 is something to respect. This is their very first demo, and it’s clearly influenced by Possessed, Mantas,
Hellhammer, Celtic Frost and possibly even Morbid Angel’s early material. They don’t
have the songwriting and/or playing skills and/or charm of those bands, so appeal is limited, but it’s still a document of the ’80s death metal movement, even if it is of minor importance. Ultimately each of these four songs is mediocre, but the crudeness and conviction with which it’s delivered is notable, and that it was released in the ’80s makes it a bit of a cool relic. Nothing more or less.
— Friar Wagner