SKULL662

Posted on October 24, 2014 by Friar Wagner

FRONT BEAST / MEPHISTO, In League With Evil Metal (2006, Iron Tyrant)

The skull:
A couple centuries from now, when Big Dumb Skulls – The Big Dumb Coffee Table Book has replaced the Bible as the best-selling book of all time, children will ask their parents and grandparents things like “What was the first big dumb skull ever in the world?,” “Why does Proclamation like horns so much?,” and “What’s your favorite dumb skull, daddy?” It’s likely many of the queried elders will answer of the latter question, “Why, Timmy, I do believe the Front Beast / Mephisto split was the very epitome of the Big Dumb Skull cover: chains, horns, fangs, barbed wire, the Iron Cross. Had it all. Ne’er was a finer one, I’d say.” To which Timmy would reply, “Daddy, what’s a ‘front beast?’”

The music:
Front Beast is terrible. One-man band basement black metal with super-sloppy drumming, crappy riffs, and vocals that make that guy from Switzerland’s Messiah sound like Tony Harnell. This latter element has a weird sort of appeal, but only for a minute or so. They do a cover of Burzum’s “Ea, Lord of the Depths,” which completely lacks the haunting, spectral vibe of the original. It’s obvious this guy took his band’s name from an early, non-album Destruction song because he prefers to think of himself as pretty obscure – I’m also sure this dude is one of those types that thinks Destruction sold out with Infernal Overkill. Mephisto is also terrible. It’s one thing to be raw, feral, primal and all that, but quite another to attempt a spooky melodic intro as in “Fullmoon Damnation” and have the guitars be so wildly out of tune that you’re almost embarrassed for the boys. The drumming is borderline competent, and the vocals are the usual Angelripper-meets-Quorthon sort of deal. It’s all ham-fisted as hell, like early Tiamat playing early Sodom songs while wearing oven mitts. There’s a fine line between audacious primitivism and just plain underwhelming crud like Mephisto.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL568

Posted on July 22, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

ROCK ROTTEN’S 9MM ASSI ROCK N’ ROLL, Fegefeuer (2007, Cargo)

The skull:
I’m pretty sure Rock Rotten acquired this painting, along with the name of his band and the title of his album, from some vendor at Sturgis. The art was airbrushed on leather, and framed. Mr. Rotten traded five replacement kaiser helmet spikes and a vintage Balls to the Wall backpatch for it. I’m told most of the songs on the album are actually about how much he misses that backpatch, but I can neither confirm nor deny this, as I only know as much German as needed to follow a handful of not-so-good Sodom songs, all of which are about bombs, and none of which are about assis.

The music:
This is just heavied-up AC/DC worship sung in German. So, like an even dumber Böhse Onkelz, basically. It’s weird how Germans will give pretty much any rock band a pass on quality so long as they sound like drunk guys singing into their steins. I personally can’t stand AC/DC, and I think even less of their clones, and drinking songs in all languages are idiotic, so this is pretty much torture for me. I guess if you’ve always thought Airbourne would be better with more umlauts, then be prepared to shake it for Rock Rotten.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL190

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Friar Wagner

SPEED KILL HATE, Acts Of Insanity (2004, Listenable)

The skull:
Originally released by the band with a non-skull cover, this album was quickly picked up by Listenable and graced with a skull. But hold off on the rejoicing, because this is one stock, boring, lame-ass skull cover. Where have we seen this before? Everywhere! Crossbones, flames, Iron Cross, appropriately dumb skull…all of it revealing that, no, Speed Kill Hate had no decent ideas whatsoever for a cover concept and went with this exercise in generic numbskullery. Acts Of Inanity, more like…

The music:
A band featuring members of Overkill, M.O.D. and Bronx Casket Company isn’t anything that’s gonna get this particular Friar all that psyched. When this debut came out, I avoided it entirely — nine years later I’m finally listening to it as per my duties here at Big Dumb Skulls. It’s exactly how I thought it would sound: grooving, aggressive post-thrash that is only for fans of those late ’90s/early 2000s Overkill albums, the most Pantera-esque Annihilator material, and Pantera themselves. Metal for the gullible and easily entertained. At any rate, it ain’t for me. Neither is that album cover. A failure all around, to these ears and eyes.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL159

Posted on June 8, 2013 by Friar Johnsen

PERSECUTOR, Wings of Death (2008, Rawblackult Productions)

The skull:
You’d be forgiven for thinking this demo was released in 1985, but no, it came out in 2008. There was a time when covers this bad were obviously the product of overeager teenagers doing their best to bring their evil visions to life, but in this late and derivative age, men probably in their late 20s or older are making covers like this to conjure a false nostalgia for an era they were born too late to know firsthand. You almost have to wonder if the job of drawing the skull went not to the guy in the band with the most artistic skill, but to the guy with the least, just for the sake of some misunderstood authenticity. You also have to wonder, “Where are the fucking wings?”

The music:
Unsurprisingly, it’s throwback thrash with a black metal twist, but it’s played with more verve than you might expect, and with no small amount of actual musical skill. I’m especially impressed by the rubber snake bass that burbles throughout with an almost spastic business. It’s excessively overplayed, in the best way. The riffing is also fairly clever at times, although this is one of those reverse synergy situations where putting everything together smooths over the most interesting elements to create an overall atmosphere of familiarity. I’ve been exposed to a lot of music like this since BigDumbSkulls.com came online, and this is one of the better examples, but I still probably wouldn’t listen to it unbidden by duty. But, if raw throwback German style thrash with nods to first wave black metal if your kind of thing, then you’d probably love Persecutor.
— Friar Johnsen