SKULL657

Posted on October 19, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

NIGHTSIDE GLANCE, Twilight Visions of the Night (2005, demo)

The skull:
There’s a whole lot of “night” happening here, and I love the idea of “twilight visions of the night.” It’s like a glimpse into the future, but only an hour or so into the future. This seems to be an alternate or reissue cover, as the original has no skull but instead a pair of glaring eyes, rendered with just slightly more artistry than the Invader cover. That cover also featured a lot of lightning, and also a bit more of a twilight feel, but who needs thematic purity when you can have a skull? This guy looks like he’s auditioning to be a stuntskull for an Iced Earth cover or something, and he hardly seems interested in either twilight or glancing, but at least he’s putting in some effort, which is more can be said for a lot of the skull models we’ve seen.

The music:
This is straight-up Dimmu Borgir/Old Man’s Child worship from Belarus. I guess you’d call it “symphonic black metal” but there’s not very much here that qualifies as black metal in the traditional sense. There are a few more 6/8 parts than usual, and the vocals are croaky instead of gurgly, and maybe the lyrics are about Satan, although they’re probably just about the night. What you do get are a lot of cheesy keyboards and a powerful evocation of 1997, when this sort of thing was all the rage. If Born of the Flickering is your favorite album of all time and you collect anything that sounds like that, then you probably already own this, along with like 3000 similar discs, but on the off chance your trading network didn’t extend too far into the former Soviet bloc, then I guess now’s the time to right that wrong and pick up some Nightside Glance.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL596

Posted on August 19, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

MIDNIGHT BULLET, Faraday Cage (2012, Inverse)

The skull:
I’m not sure the skull would make a very effective shield for electric fields, but what the hell, if you’re going to give your album a title as stupidly specific as Faraday Cage, why not have some fun with it? Then again, why is the lightning coming from the skull? Shouldn’t the skull be absorbing it, or deflecting it, or something? Far be it for me, though, to suggest that Midnight Bullet don’t understand the electromagnetic principles they’re invoking; I’m sure they’re all PhD physicists in their day jobs.

The music:
For obvious reasons, I expected very little from Midnight Bullet, but I almost immediately enjoyed them and by the time I had finished the album, I was looking for a way to buy it. They’re not doing anything especially clever, but they remind me of a bunch of bands I really like, and they mash up those (apparent) influences in a pleasing way. Most obviously, it sounds like Midnight Bullet formed to relive the exciting sounds of 1996, as they more or less sound like a mix of Rage’s poppy, post-Manni, pre-Victor albums, and the similarly poppy first few Sentenced albums featuring Ville Laihiala (Down and Frozen specifically). But as much as those two bands, Midnight Bullet sounds to me like my beloved Jester’s Funeral, particularly the last two albums, which make good on what little promise Metallica’s black album offered. There’s no easy genre tag to describe something like this, even though this is not a band I’d call “sui generis,” and any synthetic label, like “Heavy Pop Death Rock,” is going to make the band sound awful, but believe me when I say that Midnight Bullet makes some very catchy music that manages to be heavy and toe-tapping at the same time. And they do it with that inexplicable Finnish polish that mysteriously makes every band from that nation sound like seasoned veterans, even if they’ve only been together for a year. And though when the album started I was ready to criticize vocalist Tuomas Lahti for his lack of range and the general inappropriateness of his deathy voice, by the end I was converted, as he reveals more and more of his abilities as the album progresses (which is necessarily to say that he does sell himself short in the early songs.) This is a fun and worthwhile album for anyone who likes any of the bands I’ve mentioned, and with a second album coming soon, I’m expecting more good things from these badly named Finns.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL570

Posted on July 24, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

NECROCURSE, Shape of Death (2012, Aftermath Music)

The skull:
I’m certain we’ve seen this exact skull before, ‘shopped into some other dull cover, but I’m not about to look it up. Here he is, tinted pink, smiling atop some very fascist-looking lightning bolts and an upside-down cross. It’s all impossibly dull, but the saving grace is that this was released as that rarest of novelties, the shaped CD. In 2012, no less. In fact, I’m not sure there’s even a printed-on-paper cover, just this disc in a clear case. That’s kind of cool, as a physical artifact, but it doesn’t excuse the total dullness of the design. Necrocurse has done other good work in the medium of Big Dumb Skulls, for which The Council is grateful, but if they keep up this kind of shoddy work, they might find themselves without the friendship of some very important, hooded figures.

The music:
Necrocurse are a bunch of old dudes from medium-famous underground bands (Runemagick, Swordmaster, and the biggest, Nifelheim) united in their common love of Swedish death metal demos of the late 80s. If you like Carnage, Merciless, Nihilist, Grave, or Nirvana 2002, or modern knock-offs like Entrails or Repugnant, then you’ll probably like Necrocurse. I know I should like all these Stockholm syndrome bands about as much as I like the 10,000 new thrash bands who aren’t as good as Havok (which is to say: not much), but I really haven’t been exposed to too many Retombeds to be totally annoyed, and anyway this particular bunch of dudes have at least some claim to the sound. Shape of Death is a compilation of a couple EPs with a few bonus tracks tacked on, and it’s solid, but probably not the best introduction to the band. Then again, their lone EP is ever-so-slightly less derivative, and that could be a good or bad thing depending on your disposition.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL568

Posted on July 22, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

ROCK ROTTEN’S 9MM ASSI ROCK N’ ROLL, Fegefeuer (2007, Cargo)

The skull:
I’m pretty sure Rock Rotten acquired this painting, along with the name of his band and the title of his album, from some vendor at Sturgis. The art was airbrushed on leather, and framed. Mr. Rotten traded five replacement kaiser helmet spikes and a vintage Balls to the Wall backpatch for it. I’m told most of the songs on the album are actually about how much he misses that backpatch, but I can neither confirm nor deny this, as I only know as much German as needed to follow a handful of not-so-good Sodom songs, all of which are about bombs, and none of which are about assis.

The music:
This is just heavied-up AC/DC worship sung in German. So, like an even dumber Böhse Onkelz, basically. It’s weird how Germans will give pretty much any rock band a pass on quality so long as they sound like drunk guys singing into their steins. I personally can’t stand AC/DC, and I think even less of their clones, and drinking songs in all languages are idiotic, so this is pretty much torture for me. I guess if you’ve always thought Airbourne would be better with more umlauts, then be prepared to shake it for Rock Rotten.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL548

Posted on July 2, 2014 by Friar Wagner

SMASH SKULLS, First Step to Destruction (2009, demo)

The skull:
Heads up, budding skull scholars! Here we see the formation of the Master Skull from which all other skulls are born. This image depicts the theory posited by most eminent skullologists, a couple of which are on staff here at Big Dumb Skulls as members of the Council of the Elders of the Skull. In this artist’s rendering, the Master Skull is shown originating through something akin to the Big Bang, wherein energy appeared from seemingly nothing in an instant, after which many crucial cosmological events take place. As the theory goes, its magnetic force pulls all newly formed matter toward it, using all manner of boulder and meteor to construct its spooky visage. Since it is, as is known, the intent of all skulls everywhere to cause untold amounts of destruction, this theory is known amongst skullologists as the “First Step to Destruction.” Were it not for this most critical event, many metal bands would have nowhere to turn to artistic inspiration and, in turn, we would not have a blog about skulls, so please give this most important of skull-related events your strictest attention, study and reverence.

All right, class dismissed.

The music:
This is fairly competent re-thrash rehash, although the vocals are absolutely terrible. The dude has no power or presence, blathering into the microphone as if it just doesn’t fucking matter who sings or how well or poorly they do it. Musically, again, it’s competent, but never have I heard such aimless arrangements. It’s like they just got riff ideas and laid them down like train tracks in the order they were conceived. That this Portugese band sounds like a third-rate English thrash band circa 1992 should tell you everything else you need to know. If they spent more time honing their songwriting skills, and not showing how well the drummer can balance while standing on top of his drum kit, they might just kick themselves up a notch to being worthy of comparison with second-rate English thrash bands circa 1992. Here’s hoping.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL532

Posted on June 16, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

E.S.T., Live in the Outskirts of Moscow (1993, Mausoluem)

The skull:
Da, comrade, we are having knife. Yes, and gun. You need gun? Take gun, take! Is lightning you need? Also we are having lightning, and star too, yes. Is warm hat you need? Take hat, is bearing leaf of marijuana plant, is very cool. We are having everything you need comrade, and hard rocking, also. E.S.T. has eye out for you! Ha, comrade! You like joke? We are having good humor, for spirit of worker is in us. E.S.T. have many things, have all things, provided by party, for glory of Russia. Go, comrade, and fight, and rock for Russia!

The music:
I’d never heard of E.S.T. (which stands for Electro Shock Therapy) before, but that’s no great surprise, as my awareness of Russian metal is pretty scant. Then again, if I had ever encountered this band before, I would have quickly beat feet in the other direction, as they sound like the non-union Russian equivalent of Razor’s Edge-era AC/DC, with a bit of late The Cult thrown in for good measure (and okay, a little of the more rockin’ Aria sounds of the late 80s, which is really the best thing about E.S.T.) The first half of this compilation is their performance at the 1991 Monsters of Rock festival in Russia (supposedly, although rumors of live-in-the-studio abound), so clearly they were a band of some stature in their homeland, and their music is well played and well put together (even if the vocals are rather shitty, in a Chris Boltendahl way), so I guess if you like that kind of not-quite metal and you don’t mind (mostly) Russian lyrics, then you’d probably love this like I love Aspid and Valkyria, but if you already think one AC/DC was one too many, then you’ll find them twice as bad as their dull inspirations.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL519

Posted on June 3, 2014 by Friar Johnsen

EXCITER, The Dark Command (1997, Osmose)

The skull:
A barely-there skull floating translucently over what appears to be a volcano and some lightning (for some reason), this cover practically screams “Shitty Greek black metal,” but of course this is Exciter, one of the great grand-daddies of speed metal. I guess when they signed to Osmose, they looked at their labelmates’s covers and said, “Very well. If that is the way the winds are blowing, let it not be said we don’t also blow!” And they said it without even knowing that Simpsons reference.

The music:
This was Exciter’s “comeback” album, although looking back, they were not really gone for very long, only five years. Exciter is one of those bands I feel like I should enjoy, because I’m a good student of heavy metal history and I generally appreciate these elder statesmen-type bands, and because I’m generally inclined towards thrash and speed metal. But, Exciter has never much cranked my motor. I’ve got the first couple albums, and that always seemed like enough. I do actually own this album as well, because I found it used and cheap not long after it came out, and honestly, it’s not a bad album at all, even if it’s a little generic. When guitarist John Ricci reformed the band in the mid-90s, he did it without either of his classic-trio companions, and the result is an album that’s pretty good thrashy power metal, but which somehow doesn’t much satisfy as an Exciter album. And yes, I think I can say that without having ever been particularly satisfied by an Exciter album. New singer Jacques Belanger is like a bargain-basement Canadian Eric Adams, and while his voice is perfectly acceptable, he fails to bring the manic intensity that original (not-very-good) singer Dan Beehler had in spades. Plus, Beehler did it while playing drums (poorly) and that counts for a lot in my book. There are far worse comebacks, and something like this version of Exciter managed to keep the flame burning for another four albums, so I’m ready to give them a little credit, but not too much. Anyway, the original trio is back together, so I suppose it’s time for Exciter fans to start forgetting that the last 15 years ever happened.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL464

Posted on April 9, 2014 by Friar Wagner

NIHILIST, Call Down the Thunder (2006, self-released)

The skull:
A skull out of time. While this looks every shade of 1984, it’s actually an eyesore released in the modern age. Wonders never cease. And it’s another in the skull family of logo-eaters, something we’ve seen and been amused by a couple times already. The eyepatch and the hair are hilariously self-explanatory. (Especially the hair…he’s got the mane of a lion.) This skull’s here to rock! And to apparently call down the thunder. We see the lightning, so the thunder can’t be far behind. I’m going to guess this sounds exactly like Wild Dogs.

The music:
Are there really several young kids who love metal, meet up and form a band together who haven’t ever heard of the Swedish death metal band that has the rightful claim to the Nihlist name? Even if that name hasn’t been in use since the band changed their name to Entombed in 1989, you’d think anyone respectful of the genre’s history would leave the name alone. Or maybe they just don’t care? Anyway, what’s in a name? This Nihilist are from California and they play goofy, hard-rocking metal with a speedy element that isn’t quite thrash but gets close. Lots of dopey vocal phrasing that apes equally dopey riffs. This is their downfall, because otherwise its solid, serviceable metal, even if it’s nothing you’d cross the street to obtain. Occasionally you’ll hear a passage the reaches metal glory, as in “The Assault.” You have to respect their energy, and their tenacity (lots of self-releases over ten years’ time), but they’re generally useless unless you’ve just been introduced to heavy metal, and then I suppose they’d sound fairly fresh. They do a decent but pointless cover of Judas Priest’s “Freewhell Burning,” which provides a perfect example of what their originals attempt to achieve. Judging from the sound of the band plus the cover artwork, I’ll give them another few points for their total lack of irony; Nihilist (CA) seems to be a completely earnest, from-the-heart sort of endeavor. They probably don’t even have beards. Good on ’em for all that.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL436

Posted on March 12, 2014 by Friar Wagner

KRYPTERIA, All Beauty Must Die (2011, Liberatio Music)

The skull:
Another obviously female skull (see Skull434), what with those pretty eyes and all. The smile is not one of happiness, nor is it maniacal. It looks like a forced giddiness…and it is. You see, we here at Big Dumb Skulls HQ are often privy to various goings-on behind the scenes of the covers we present to you, dear reader. And we know that a gun was indeed being pointed at her in this frame, the weapon wielded by a villainous cretin repeating the album title to the skull, ordering her to smile for the artist painting her portrait. Kind of an old-school version of the snuff film. The feathers are there to add even more “beauty” to the whole scene, but why? That skull is beautiful enough, and…no…wait…what’s the deal with the Snidely Whiplash mustache? Despite that bit of confusion, we were just about to intervene and save this skull from its fate. We normally wouldn’t interfere — we are mere watchers and chroniclers, after all — but in this case we felt terrible for the gal. But then we heard the music and decided to leave the skull to its fate.

The music:
With such a lame album cover, should I have been surprised at the junkiness of the music? I faintly remember this band riding on a wave of hype in the mid 2000s, something talked up by people who like this sort of female-fronted symphonic gothic power metal crud. The whole album is junky, but “Turn the World Around” has a ridiculous sub-nu metal sort of male vocal accompaniment that is beyond unlistenable. It’s a sound and genre strictly for girls who know nothing about metal, guys who have never been laid and never will be, and little children. The vocals of Ji-In Cho are way, way too melodramatic, and are especially nauseating in “(How Can Something So Good) Hurt So Bad,” which sounds like something from a Little Mermaid soundtrack. If that’s your thing, go for it. As for Krypteria’s inclusion here on Big Dumb Skulls, if it weren’t for the Chris Broderick-level sweep-picked leads, I would have not recognized a single iota of this as “metal.” And even if there are a couple impressive riffs and other musical passages throughout final song, “The Eye Collector,” this is mostly the sort of music that makes me have to listen to something else immediately, as if to wash out my sullied ears with soap. (And Sadus debut Illusions will be that soap.) Please, kill the beauty. Now.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL428

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DIAVE, Akatastasia (1998, demo)

The skull:
Well, it’s not the worst piece of computer-generated skull art we’ve ever seen. If you look closely, and use your imagination just a tiny bit, you can imagine strings of dental floss hanging from the skull’s uppers. Even in death, even in a lightning storm after death, flossing is so important. As that poster on your dentist’s wall says: “You don’t have to floss all of your teeth…just the ones you want to keep!”

The music:
The list of chintzy gothic/death/doom bands from mid ’90s Europe is endless. Enchantment…Cemetery of Scream…As Serenity Fates…Castle…Jesus, kill me now. I love the Peaceville Three and various others in that vein, but what My Dying Bride, Paradise Lost and Anathema started in the early ’90s is not only un-toppable, but unfortunately became a playground for lesser bands to drag through the mud of crappy vocals, cheesy productions, dinky keyboards, and horrible wailing opera wenches. This long-forgotten Polish band were one of the most unremarkable of this sordid lot, but remark I shall. Diave are fourth-tier at best. Ham-fisted thematic guitar lines, ham-fisted drumming…ham-fisted everything. Can singing and production also be ham-fisted? If so, Diave commit these atrocities as well. They not only give a bad name to the gothic/death/doom genre, but also to hams and fists.
— Friar Wagner