SKULL623

WITH HIS BLOOD, Disdain (2012, self-released)

The skull:
When your using stencils to make your graffiti, you should really tape them to the wall, or else you’re going to misalign everything and overspray everything to hell. If you want to be a top tier street artist, you really gotta pay attention to craft! You think Banksy works this way? Fuck no!

The music:
Ah, crabcore, how I’ve missed you! In the early days of Big Dumb Skulls, it seemed like I was listening to something like this every week or two, some steaming pile of ToonTrack samples, bass drops, and numetal grooves retooled for 8 string guitars. And With His Blood are doubly awesome/shitty for being Christian. At least, I’m going to assume they’re Christian, what with that band name and song titles like “Condemn” and “Product of Sin”. Not that it matters – making a band this stupid Christian is like adding one to infinity. I’d rather listen to a thousand Peruvian death metal demos than another disc like this because even the most unimaginative bullet belter has some measure of musical integrity, while these slam holes are basically metaphors come to life for empty adolescent rage. With beards.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL587

XCURSION, Xcursion (1983, Rampage)

The skull:
This EP is sometimes called Skull Queen for obvious and awesome reasons. Look at this thing! Although it’s obviously a cheap, one-piece plaster replica, the crowned ladyskull with diamond eyes is nevertheless a thing of beauty and a big dumb metaphor to boot (even if it could and should have been framed larger in the shot.) The presumably sumptuous, velvet pillow is icing, but for my money, the element that MAKES this cover is the grid. In the early 80s, “GRID = THE FUTURE” for some reason. Think Tron. Nowadays, you see something like this and you wonder, “What’s the deal with the grid?” but contemporary viewers in 1983 would have accepted it as a signifier that made sense. But even they might have noticed that the grid only goes back like 2 feet and scowled, because the whole point of these things was to suggest an ordered infinity, not a just an ordered few square meters. If nothing else, this Xcursion cover reminds us of the good ol’ days when, if you wanted a skull on your cover, you were just as likely to call a photographer as a painter. Nowadays, if you wanted an infinite grid, you could have it even if you started with this selfsame photo. But back then, budgetary and technological limits were as hard as the men who put skulls on their albums. Maybe even harder.

The music:
Xcursion’s claim to fame is that it was Mark Slaughter’s first band, but don’t hold the man’s subsequent poser activities against him when considering Xcursion, who were actually a fine heavy metal band. Through they hailed from Las Vegas, XCursion remind me more of early L.A. metal bands like Lizzy Borden, 3rd Stage Alert, Malice, etc, not to mention Detroit’s Seduce, whose first album is very much of a piece with Xcursion’s output. Recall, 1983 was before hair metal as we would grow to hate it became its own thing, and back then, legit metal bands might play songs titled, “Love Is Blind,” and even heavy bands would sometimes resort to hard rock stylings. Xcursion were not exactly master musicians, but they got the job done, and while Slaughter lacked the fine control he would later develop over his reedy falsetto, his young voice is nonetheless less shrill here than on “Fly to the Angels” or any of his other execrable hits. If you like early U.S. metal, then you’ll probably get a kick out of this. It’s hardly essential, but once you’ve collected all the classics, this is well worth tracking down. Xcursion’s complete works were “reissued” on Old Metal Records, but that disc is long out of print, and I’d imagine the LPs are even more scarce, so probably blogs and YouTube are your best bet for hearing this curious but of H.M. history.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL577

WEAPON, Embers and Revelations (2012, Relapse)

The skull:
Sometimes we at Skull HQ complain about covers jammed up with just too much shit, but here’s a fine example of maximalism done right. Let’s start with the snakes: usually when you see a symmetrical design like this, the snakes are an obvious cut and paste job. But if that’s the case here, the artist at least went to some lengths to make sure each snake looked like his own serpent. For that matter, most artists would have just doubled that wolf, but here the artist wisely went with a tiger/wolf thing. The circle behind the skull is unique the whole way around, the crown is actually lighted, hell even the horns are distinct (and while it looks goofy, I appreciate the more realistically goat-like placement thereof.) The skull looks childish, which is a motif we always appreciate here, and the background is nicely textured and NOT BROWN. Really, there is basically nothing to complain about here, except that what the hell does any of this have to do with embers or revelations?

The music:
If Rebel Extravaganza-era Satyricon and Covenant-era Morbid Angel had a demon skull love child, it might sound like Embers and Revelations. That’s a good thing! This is a rather excellent black/death metal album that might lean a bit more heavily in the black direction, but is still supremely heavy and riffy after the fashion of the best death metal. The songs show variety and even some genuine imagination (the phased-out ending of “Disavowing Each in Aum” is so cool I listened to it three times!); the production is stellar, and the performances all around are top notch. Though it’s rare that I really crave this sort of thing, this is exactly what I’d want to hear when I do (assuming I can’t find my copy of Old Mand’s Child’s In Defiance of Existence, at least). There are a ton of bands on Relapse that I can’t stand, but that’s almost always because I don’t care for the specific type of music. Damned near every band on that label works at the highest levels of its respective subgenre, and Weapon is a sterling example of that. Shame that the band broke up after this, but what an exit!
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL500

CHEST, MMXI  (2011, self-released)

The skull:
And lo did Skull #500 find enlightenment at long last. Floating through the desert for nigh on 17 turns ’round the sun seeking purpose in his bodiless purgatory, and presently teetering on total astral burnout, skull 500 finally felt deep pangs of hunger. So did his search lead him, if only for a moment, toward something perhaps even more existential than the meaning of death, purgatory and the afterlife. With considerable surprise he did find the Lophophora williamsii cactus plant, or peyote, before him, dried in buttons and begging to be consumed. “It is kismet that I should stumble upon such heavenly bread!” said he as he ingested the buttons. In short time, he fell into a rapturous mescaline haze. Not only did it satisfy his pangs, but it achieved in him a vertigo hitherto unexperienced by man, beast or skull. He could not remember how or why he was crowned king those many years ago, or even what land he ruled, but screw it, he hadn’t a speck of care about any of that now. “How much of that shit did I eat???” he wondered. His name is Chester, King Chester, and he is absolutely wigging the fuck out.

The music:
There is precious little to report on here. Finland’s Chest play serviceable, standard-issue stoner rock/sludge, utterly adequate and likely reaching the low bar that freaks for this kind of stuff “demand” of their bonged-out leaders. But for anyone wanting a new, different, memorable, worthwhile or (gasp) adventurous musical experience, look elsewhere. Where Queens of the Stone Age are the Mensa wizards on high, come from a far distant planet to enslave us with their majesty, Chest are the couch potatoes scraping the bowl for remnants of smoke-able resin as they bicker about who has to venture into the outside world to secure the next batch of Cheetos and Mellow Yellow.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL271

SALACIOUS GODS, Piene (2005, Folter)

The skull:
Though this is obviously a piece of bargain basement Photoshoppery, I prefer to imagine that the plastic flatness of this cover was achieved by different, analog means. I’m speaking, of course, of Colorforms®. Imagine the possibilities! A few pieces from the “Skulls, Teeth, and Bones” starter kit, then a few maces from the “Medieval Weaponry” set, a pair of horns from “Goats, Sheep, and Cows,” and finally, something from a pack of “Spiky Crowns and Pointy Accoutrements”. Obviously the people who make albums like this have the minds of children, so it would make sense to cater to their edutainment needs. Frankly, I can’t imagine why the University Games Corporation hasn’t yet come out with an entire line of Big Dumb Skull® Colorforms®. I’m sure The Council would consider a license for so esteemed a property.

The music:
Speedy mid-fi black metal, reminding me of early Immortal, or Gorgoroth minus the madness. Competent, but so utterly derivative that I can’t be bothered to even try to enjoy it. I don’t as a rule seek out black metal, and yet I’ve heard dozens, maybe a hundred bands exactly like this. Salacious Gods even wear corpse paint. Well, at least they wore it in 2005 when Piene (which means “full” in Italian) came out, but way back then, corpse paint was only 75% as gauche as it is today, and I if it frightened their mothers and their old school teachers and the other straights, well, I guess it was worth it.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL257

UNDERLORD, Rise of the Ancient Kings (2003, Rage of Achilles)

The skull:
I do love these covers that feature literally every evil metal signifier possible, crammed into one disjointed composition. A pentagram, upside down crosses (on fire, naturally), crazy swords, occult symbols, and of course a seriously regal skull in the midst of it all. As with the nouveau riche, this nouveau mal skull is just a bit too ostentatious in his displays of malevolence. You just know he drives some fancy luxury hearse with the vanity plate, “EVLSKLL”, and he just never takes that fucking crown off. How else would you know how royally sinister he is?

The music:
An even mix of first and second wave black metal, Underlord offer no surprises and nothing new. The playing is remarkably crisp, considering how shitty the recording is, but the riffs are dime-a-dozen Venom, Bathory and Mayhem knockoffs, with the obligatory croaking vocals and lyrics about war, Satan, and ancient wisdom and what have you. If you think of Hellhammer as more than just the shitty band that eventually became Celtic Frost, or you think Sodom peaked with In the Sign of Evil, then maybe Underlord will tweak your nipples just right.
— Friar Johnsen